Final Days Part 18 ~ A Christmas Miracle For Ron's Faves and...

Some Ashes For The Mannings

Rex woke up thinking about his reunion with Gigi, thinking it was a dream. He then strutted over to the mirror and like Narcisis, glaring into the pool at his reflection, Rex found the love of his life. 

He realized that it was not a dream when Gigi entered the room wearing nothing but a towel, which she promptly dropped to the floor.  Yes!  Rex and Gigi's reunion was made complete. 

(Eat your hearts out Jolie  and Todd and Blair fans as Ron gives you the middle finger treatment, yet again.)

At the police station, the second home to the Mannings, Blair visited her son, Jack, who was arrested for Gigi's murder (but Gigi's not dead, so WTF?)  For the first time since last January (when Jack was another person)  he showed delight in seeing his mom.  He immediately told her that he was scared and that he didn't want to stay in jail.  [I betcha Brad is feeling the same way!]

Most Manning fans are feeling sorry for his bad ass, but this Manning fan is not.  This supposed bad-ass has been a true horror.  He has sought after justice for the death of Victor, yet he continued to evade it for himself.  He taunted his sister who was in jail.  He ridiculed her in the papers and now, he's whining and pointing fingers at his Mommy because he didn't get enough attention.  In the words of Victor Lord Junior, "SHUT UP JACK!"

[Now that I got that off my chest; I can say that I truly like Jack and I even liked him when many hated him and still hate him.  He is Todd and Blair's son and that goes a long way with me.]

While Blair attended to her son and tried to reassure him that she and his father were doing everything that they could to get him out of jail, Todd was in John's office trying to get his son sprung. 

Shortly thereafter, they were joined by Llanview's top-notch lawyer, The Widow Tea Delgado" who dutifully rubs her belly.

Tea is referred to as the best lawyer in town because she is obviously the only lawyer in town because she is a defense attorney, a divorce attorney, a child custody attorney, and she is an estate attorney.  Tea demanded to see the evidence that John had and he informed her and Todd that they had Jack's confession on tape.  That's when the best attorney in Llanview went to work.  She informed John that hacking into a minor's cell phone was "no small matter to a judge."  John assured her that the confession was not done through hacking or wire-taping.   He said that it was a live confession as he showed Tea and Todd the tape recorder.  Tea reminded John that he could not use the tape if a police officer got the confession through means of entrapment.  John told her that the confession was voluntary and not gotten by illegal means. 

Back at Jack's jail cell, he continued to lay the guilt on thick.  He told his mother that the only person who ever gave him the time of day was Victor. (Huh?)  He told her that she never had time for him, that she was too busy, worried about Starr, Hope or Sam.  Blair let him have it.  She told him that he was copping out of his own responsibility for what he had done.  The one thing that Jack has always had was family, a family that loves him.

(I rue the day that Ron got the bright idea to make Jack Manning a sociopath in order to tell his "Bully" story, which ultimately became the catalyst for the Rex and Gigi tragedy/ reunion arc.)

On the other side of town, there is a celebratory atmosphere as Shane reads about Jack's arrest in the Banner.  Natalie and Grandpa Clint congratulated him on his heroic efforts to get justice for his mother's death. 

At the same time, Rex and Gigi made their way to Llanfair to reunite mother and son. Shane couldn't believe his eyes when he saw her.  He believed that he was looking at his Aunt Stacy who had plastic surgery in order to look like his mom, but Rex reassured Shane and he responded with, "Mommy" as he went into his mother's arms

Back at the jail, Jack wondered who set him up as he stared at Neela through the bars of his cell.

Todd made a promise to Blair as she went into his arms that they would save their "little boy".

Final Days Part 17 ~ HO HO HO! Merry Christmas SUCKUZZ!

Inside Ron's Mega Mind Is A Story Just Waiting To Be Mutilated.

If at first you don't succeed, try and try and try and try again. That's Ron Carlivati's motto. If Rex and Gigi aren't working, then he transports them through time and space via cell phones and television waves. In the "1968" story, Rex and Gigi became different characters who slept together and created David Vickers. That was a disaster of a story, so Ron tossed in an interloper so abhorrent that even people who hated the pairing began to root for them in spite of their common sense and good taste. Still not working? Cast a Bag of Blood and let it play the role of hero and villain. While it saves Rex and Gigi's love child, it connects Rex to one of the most infamous characters in the show's history, Mitch Lawrence. Not working yet? Let the Bag of Blood Have Rex and Gigi go on a quest for Rex's real parents. Let them discover that his parents were a set of forlorn lovers; make the blonde boy's mother a Native American and make his father a gangster and then have Rex and Gigi play his mother and father. If you still didn't GAF, Ron decided to make Rex Balsom a Buchanan.  (That aughta make Asa glad not to be in the land of the living.) And because people still didn't GAF, Ron killed Gigi off.  You see, that's what he does for his characters when nobody cares about them.  He kills them off, then he magically brings them back from the dead in hopes that people have forgotten how unimportant they were.

No such gimmicks needed for Viki and Clint's reunion. They have real history and staying power (Yes! Staying Power, even though the show is going off the air.)  Reuniting them only took the nudging of their two twins, Jessica and Natalie who are experts in the field of love.  Natalie is in love with John McBain ('nuff said).  Jessica is involved with the man who raped her and got her pregnant.  But what the hell!  If it takes these two dullards to get their parents back together then so be it.  Clint and Viki have a long history together and as the show comes to a close, they end up together, as it should be.

No Joy In Jolieville:
On the other side of town, John McBain played nurse maid to The Widow Delgado because she she was suffering from a bad case of gas mixed with a case of the grumpies because she believes that Todd killed her husband and then made her brother disappear.  John assured her that they will bring that evil son of a bitch, Manning down for his dastardly deeds.  John cautions the hot tempered Widow Delgado to cool off for the sake of Victor Lord Junior's baby.

A Christmas miracle caused John remember that he has a baby boy of his own and he made his way over to Llanfair with presents and an apology for Natalie for his being such an ass, but their conversation was interrupted (big surprise) by Shane who told him that he had evidence that proves that Jack killed his "Mom". (So much for John and Natalie getting closer.)

 

Over at LaBoulaie, Everyone, including Jack, is in the Christmas spirit.  In fact, they have so much of the Christmas spirit that they went over to  Rapehaus to give the Widow Delgado and Dani some and it must have worked because soon after they left, Dani discovered some gifts for her and her mom with a special note from special needs Victor, telling them how much they meant to him. 

Blair, Starr, Jack and Sam returned home to see Todd dressed like Santa and placing presents beneath the tree. Blair smiled at Todd and thanked him (That was the T&B moment that Ron promised on twitter), but no good thing lasts for the Mannings.  John soon arrived to announce that Jack was being arrested for the murder of Gigi Morasco.

Final Days Part 16 ~ Lemon Pie In My Eye, I Wish!

After yesterday's special episode, it's back to business as usual. So,What's different?  Not much. Tuesday's episode (the regular show) had a woman in drag, Delfina became Delbert Fina.

Delbert is the pie judge and Rex thinks he knows him from somewhere.  Del assured him that he does not, but if you've watched this drek for the past 3 or 4 years, you will remember that Rex and Gigi traveled back to the future, from Llanview Pennsylvania (2008) to Somewhere in Texas (1968) where they were met and guided by Delbert, who ultimately aided their return from Texas,1968 back to Llanview, 2008. 

See, Rex and Gigi are not just "a super couple", they are a super-duper, super natural couple, so they needed a super natural being to get them back together, Delfina, the psychic phenom/Delbert the pie eating fool. 

There were gratuitous shirtless scenes.

In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya Ron Carlivati, "Let us go back to the beginning."

It's the day of the big Pie Eating Contest in Paris Texas. 

All of Ron's characters from his original story were gathered at the Bon Jour Cafe where Moe and Noelle try to talk some sense into Viki's silly little head and send her packing, back to Clint, where she belongs, but not until the winner of the pie eating contest was announced.  Without suspense of fanfare, Noelle was awarded the blue ribbon for the best pie, which she promptly gave to Shane in honor of his not dead mother. 

Speaking of Shane and his not dead mother, his plan to get Jack Manning to admit his part in Shane's not dead mother is in full swing as his flunky, Neela tapes Jack's confession of his wrong-doing.

Looks like Shane will get the ammunition he needs to nail Jack, but in the meantime, Jack attempsts to nail Neela.

BTW - Jack's father, fomerly known as "Scarface" thinks that Jack has great taste in women.

Why is it that any man who is in ten feet of Tea Delgado becomes a sanctimonious prig?  John McBain is just that, a sanctimonious prig who vomits in his mouth a little when he's around a would be criminal.  It's funny that he didn't vomit a little in his mouth when he realized that Tea's husband, aided the woman who tossed the love of his life off of the roof of a building, murdered a doctor, hid that woman while she was in the possession of his kidnapped son, and got that woman out of the country to evade justice all together.  If that didn't make him vomit in his mouth a little, how about the fact that Tea's husband had proof for months that Liam was John's son?

Viki makes it back home to Llanfair from Paris Texas in all of five minutes, but not before Kim makes her move on Clint.

And finally, the stars alligned themselves and Rex and Gigi came face to face at the Bon Jour Cafe where there love afair was rekindled.

Final Days Part 15~ Shades Of Gary Tomlin Or Was It A "Pigment" of My Imagination?

Eighteen or so episodes left to air One Life To Live and the show's producer and Head Writer continue to parody the show (that's been their bread and butter for decades), the soap genre and the fans.  In doing so, they pretty much show why the genre is nearly extinct.

(A)   The plots are ridiculously laughable.

(B)   The plots are stale and redundant.

(C)   The characters are stereotypical.

(D)   The characters are shallow and exhibit little or no depth.

(E)    Male actors need only have a six-pack and show it “gratuitously” to stay employed.

(F)    High school and college girls are stupid sluts.

(G)  TPTB  decided to get their storylines from Jerry Springer and Maury Povich.

(H)   TPTB forgot that technology and the OJ Simpson trial evolved the viewers.

Checking around the net, I saw that some viewers managed to laugh in spite of the tolling of the death knell, while others found nothing funny about the joke that seemed to be played audience. 

Here's what some are saying about this special episode of One Life To Live:

 

"This was so dumb. That is why I stop watching this show. No wonder this show is going off!"

 

"Cornball, campy fantasy eps are one of the reasons soaps are on a ventilator, OLTL in particular. What a waste of precious last shows."

"I HATE this joke! Thought I was the only one! The show is nearing the end and this is how it's treated? Like a joke? How very sorry that the actors had to go through that. I feel like someone spit in my face."

“I don't care how silly and stupid and campy it is... I am laughing my fool head off right now, and I'm not even halfway through the episode. I think it's perfectly delightful that they're willing to take on the stereotypical soap characters, actors and the crazy stories that go with them. RH with a mullet pronouncing "damned" as "damn-ed..." HI-liarious!"

"I loved Howarth's bad, fake, cliffhanger face.

I love KA's voice. I also prefer Easton in this role!!!"

"I really like KDP in that trench coat and the black boots.".

"There were so many great things about today's episode. Add me to the people who discovered that I dislike Tea, but actually really like Florencia. She was awesome."

"ES is working that accent lol"

"I think it's fun and the constant comments about the gratuitous shirtlessness is very true."

"And RH was hysterical and smoking hot, much better than the three Waxed Wonders."

(Gifs by Winterbee)

"Love the Starr dani James Jessica ford Nate scenes they r hilarious and I love how they didn't even try to make the slap look real lol"

"Shaun and Destiny were fabulous..I haven't laughed like that in awhile"

 

"The TW and IK walk off the empty set was especially poignant when you realize that they filmed this when the cast still believed that the show had been saved."

That darkened screen was sobering to me as well.  I felt that sadness when the actors tweeted and left messages on their facebook pages of their last moments at the ABC studio.  We have a few more weeks left, but the reality is that it's over.  I will miss One Life To Live tremendously, mainly because I was always hopeful that things would get better, but with every writing team, the problems were exacerbated because each new Head Writer wanted to make his or her mark by out-absurding the previous writer.

These are One Live To Live's Final Days and this episode indicates the one clear vision that I've seen from the producer and writer in years, that the genre is as incestuous as the relationship between Brandon and Briana, therefore it remains stunted and malformed.

(For Frank Valentini and Ron Carlivati, on to the next  incestuous relationship show.)