Lafaux's Daily Grind - One Life To Live Blog

Final Days Part 28 ~ It's Over! (1/13/12)

2012-01-14T10:22:00.002-05:00

This is it! I've prepared myself for this day ever since ABC announced that they were cancelling All My Children and One Life To Live.

I was prepared for a let down. I was prepared to be sad, but something happened once Allison's narration began, I loved almost every moment of the final episode of One Life To Live!

This show! This show is over! Finished!

But my memories live on.

Life Goes On!

Life Has Its Twists

And Life Has Its Turns

Final Days Part 27 ~ There Is Only One More Tomorrow!

2012-01-12T22:14:00.006-05:00

One More Episode!

Viki Explains The Importance of the Soap Opera

The fans are so loyal, so passionate, so invested in their stories. I always ask how they got started watching "Fraternity Row". Some of them were stay at home mothers some of them were stay at home mothers, taking a break before their children would get home from school and others were college students with free time between classes.

Many of them inherited the love for the show from their parents or their grandparents who were long time fans themselves.

I remember the first time I tuned into Fraternity Row; I was hooked instantly. I needed to know what would happen next to these fascinating people.

Would the hero and the heroine find their way back to true love?

Would the villains get their comeuppance? Or would their crimes go unpunished?

Would loving families overcome their obstacles or would their troubles prove to difficult to surmount? Ultimately, that's what soap opera is about, families, close families, rival families, even families that are unexpected, or the ones we choose for ourselves.

And when a show is lucky enough to have been on the air as long as Fraternity Row, has, these families become extensions of our own. Fans might become upset when a favorite actor leaves, but they're always willing to welcome a new one; even when the new cast member is quite different from the one being replaced.

After all, this is a place where people come back from the dead

...go off to grade school in the morning and come home from high school in the afternoon. Because for every new face, every new couple, every new family, there are long familiar faces. Some who have grown up before our very eyes

and a few more we hope to watch grow up.

We know them so well; they've become our friends; we yearn for their happiness, especially when it's hard won. We laugh as they laugh; we cry as they cry. We can't imagine doing without them; and when things are at their very worst on the show, that's when we seem to enjoy them the most.

There's just one thing we have to do to keep them in our lives ...

Tune in tomorrow!

Final Days Part 26 ~ "There's a trick to the graceful exit"

2012-01-12T00:00:00.051-05:00

Two More Episodes

Wednesday 1/11/12

Wednesday's show had closure for several characters. The eipsode began with Starr and James. James flat out told Starr, "It's over!" Starr didn't want to end things, but she couldn't do anything but let James go when he told her that he knew that she could never love him the way that she loved Cole. There were tears, lots of tears, but they departed on good terms.

The Balsoms were floating on air and all was right with the world, and it was made even righter [sic] when Shane received a letter marked urgent. It was from an exclusive Phil Jimendez School of Cartoon Art, in England. The school offered Shane not only admittance, but a scholarship as well. Shane was hesitant, but after Gigi explained that she had filled out an application and sent them copies of his art work, Shane realized that it was not a hoax. Still a little reluctant to leave his newly married parents, Shane told them that he wouldn't leave, but being full of goodness, Gigi sprang one more surprise on him and told him that they were going with him.

In the meantime, a saddened Roxy was preparing for her "Fraternity Row" party, which is intended to bring her a sense of closure as well and she's going to need it since Roxy's Rexy and family are leaving Llanview.

Shuan and Vivian had another fight over marriage. Shuan wants to get married and Vivian does not. She insists that it's not because she doesn't want to be married to him, but she doesn't want to be married to anybody. Crushed again by Vivian's apparent rejection, Shuan ended their relationship. (Guess you could call that closure, but I don't think that it's over.)

Matthew got back from Washington, feeling guilty because he believes that if he had been in Llanview, he could have stopped Troy from taking his mother hostage and wounding his father. Bo reminded him that he couldn't change the past, that the best thing for would be to fo Oh, but wait! There is one more thing that Matthew wants to forget and it came through the door just ahead of his best friend, Destiny. Matthew continued to fight his battle against fatherhood and Destiny gave him an earful. Basically, while he's deciding whether or not he wants to be a father, Destiny can't now decide that she doesn't want to be a mother. She's already had to step up for their baby. Destiny left Bo's hospital room, angry and upset.

On the other side of young love was Jack Manning and Neela Patel. Neela came to La Boulaie to apologize to Jack for betraying him. At first Jack didn't want to hear a word out of her mouth, but he listened and he allowed her to tell him how sorry she was and how she had changed her mind, but was afraid that Shane would try to once again commit suicide if she didn't help him. Jack seemed to understand though I didn't get the feeling that he was going to forgive her.

When Starr got home, she was met by Rick(her sleazy manager) who had great news to share. He's made a very sweet deal, concerning Starr's singing career. He told her that he would give her until the next day to make up her mind and that he is moving on to a client who will appreciate someone who works as hard as he does for her. Rick told Starr that it's time to move on to the next chapter.

Finally, there was John and there was Natalie. These two have been trying to get it right for over eight years. Eight years of an emotionally thwarted man who only expressed himself through his sexual prowess. John couldn't say the words, "I love you", but he could whip out his Johnson quicker than a rat could eat cheese. For weeks, he's been telling Natalie, "We have to tawk!" and for weeks, they have been interrupted by phone calls, murder mysteries, prison breaks and mad men. Finally, John tawked and tawked and fawked, and John said the words, "I love you" to Natalie.

Final Days Part 25 ~ Poppy Or Charms Can Make Us Sleep As Well

2012-01-10T23:57:00.002-05:00

Three More Days Before the Final Episode

Death Be Not Proud;

Though Some Have Called Thee Mighty

and Dreadful; Thou art not so

Watching Starr holding a copy of the Sun with the headline reading, "RIP" With a picture of Cole and then his name made me sad for a moment.

Then I realized that it was just another hoax that Ron had successfully pulled off. The doorbell rang and Starr let Dani into the foyer where Dani gave Starr her condolences, only to be told by Starr that Cole was in deed alive. Todd cautioned Starr not to say anything, but she assured her father that Dani was one of them, a Manning. Todd told Starr that she just as well tell Jack or Sam.

Not long thereafter, we see Jessica, reading the Banner as she laments the loss of her baby's daddy, Robert Ford. Jessica recalls receiving the news from the doctor the night before.

Natalie went home to comfort her sister and assure Jessica that Mitch is most certainly dead this time.

The Ford brothers, James and Nate are also devastated.

John, Natalie, Clint and Viki had a reunion in Viki's hospital room. John, ever on the job, question Viki and Clint about Allison's motive. Viki acted as though she were clueless, not telling John and Natalie that Allison had sworn that Mitch Laurence was not Jessica's father, but Clint is her natural father.

Clint later calls Vimal to do a little job for him. He wants him to do a DNA test for him, but this time it will not require that he change the results of the test.

On his way out of the hospital, John ran into Tea who told him that she almost told Blair that Todd killed Victor. John tells Tea not to worry that he is about to bring Todd down. He had one of Llanview's finest steal Todd's cell phone. John told Tea that the lab was retrieving information from it while the two of them are speaking about it.

Todd and Blair remain a united front as they have both conspired to fake Cole's death and reunite him with his father and mother. Blair takes stock in the man she's loved for most of her life and she tells him how grateful she is that he was there for her and their family. Todd knows that it can all go away all too soon.

Final Days Part 24 ~ Caught Between Heaven and Hell

2012-01-09T20:34:00.007-05:00

Four Episodes Left

Friday's show left many lives in peril. Viki was shot by Allison and she was fading fast. Clint could not make the 911 call because he suffered a heart attack. Cole who was shot by Crazy Hannah, gave up the fight for life; so did Bo and Robert Ford., but with some divine intervention, it looks like some will find their way back home to their loved ones while others might not be so lucky.

There were two transitioning teams, three from heaven and two from hell. Gabrielle, Megan and Luna were sent from heaven to transition Viki, Cole and Bo, While Stacy Morasco and Eddie Ford were sent to transition Clint, Robert and Mitch to hell.

What I learned from today's show was that angels can remain judgemental, self-righteous and bitter; they can even be horny sluts and they can still earn their wings. Also, it might be hot as hell where Stacy and Eddie now reside, but they seemed to have adusted quite well to their environment. Was Stacy really pole dancing?

Meghan's assignment was to bring her mother, Victoria to heaven. When Viki got their, she looked for Clint, but unfortunately, Clint was diverted and he took another route. The first person he saw when her reached his destination was Stacy Morasco who quickly demanded that he return her heart to her.

The two of them snarled at one another about who was more worthy of being in hell. Stacy's assignment was to keep Clint in hell, but he escaped. Then there was Eddie Ford who kidnapped Nora last year and threatened to rape her. His assignment was to transition his son, Robert into hell while he let him know that he was no better than he was, so he very much deserved his place in hell for taking advantage of Jessica when she was mentally incapacitated.

After being shot until he was really, really dead, Mitch awaited his escorts from heaven, but instead he was taken away by Stacy and Eddie.

Final Days Part 23 ~ Holy Smokin' Guns!

2012-01-06T20:31:00.004-05:00

Five Episodes Left

Inside the cabin in the woods, Bo and Troy faced off! They each fired their weapons at one another. Bo told Troy, "It's over!" Nora sighed with relief and Lindsay grabbed Troy's gun. Troy was hog-tied and gagged and all seemed right with the world when Nora and Bo promised to put in a good word with the parole board, concerning Lindsay's valiant efforts to aide Bo and secure Nora's safety. Bo gave Lindsay his car keys and told her to call for an ambulance. Lindsay closed the door behind her to the world of freedom. Back in the cabin Nora questioned Bo about why he asked Lindsay to send for an ambulance. When Bo opened his jacket, Nora saw that he had been wounded in the gun-fight. He collapsed and Nora begged Troy to save his life. Troy first refused. Nora pleaded and promised that she would give him anything that he wanted. He told Nora that she would have to put total trust in him as he would have to use a scalpel to cut Bo open. (I'm wondering where he's going to get this surgical tool.)

In the library at Llanfair, Viki and Clint look at one another to see if they are wounded when Allison began to taunt them with more riddles while looking at the broken vase. Allison told Clint and Viki that she knew something that even Mitch didn't know. She said that because Mitch put Viki into her hands, she decided to give Mitch the news that he wanted to hear, that he was had fathered one of Viki's twins. Neither Viki nor Clint want to believe Allison at this point, but she insists that she is telling the truth that Clint is the father of both Jessica and Natalie. Because Viki chose not to believe her or because a full moon was out, Allison shot Viki on her way out of Llanfair. Viki lay on the floor unconscious on the floor of the library while Clint suffered a heart attack while trying to call for help.

In the church, Mitch and Robert Ford wrestled for Mitch's gun. A shot was fired at the ceiling and the chandelier came crashing down on Bobby's head. Jessica ran to him, thinking that he was dead. Natalie moved toward Bobby's body and checked his pulse, assuring Jessica that he was still alive. In the meantime John had about ten clear shots at Mitch, but he didn't shoot him because John just loves himself a challenge, so he waited for Mitch to grab Natalie again, place her in front of her as a human shield while he breathed his hot breath on her and licked her ear. Well, after John got good and turned on, he shot Mitch.

In the living room at La Boulaie, Todd made a sudden appearance as he disarmed Hannah. Unfortunately, he was too late to prevent Hannah from shooting Cole. Cole jumped in front of the bullet that Hannah intended for Starr. Standing in the doorway was a shocked Blair. It actually took all hell breaking out for her to wake up. All of that lovin' must have worn her out. When Hannah told Starr that she wanted to hurt her not Cole, Shorty raised up on her tippy-toes and knocked the piss out of Hannah. Todd remained calm. He realized that they couldn't waste anytime, that Cole had to be taken to the hospital immediately. He told Blair to get the car and Todd, Blair and James put Cole inside. Todd came back into the living room, took the gun that Starr was holding on Hannah and sent Starr to go to the hospital with Cole. Once Todd and Hannah were alone, Todd threatened to kill her, but she doubted that he would do such a thing. Todd told her that he had already killed before. Killing her would be easy. Todd decided that he would confess that he killed his brother, Victor in cold blood. He felt that he could get it off of his chest and that no one would believe crazy Hannah if she told them his secret. Todd was saved by Llanview's finest as they came in to cart Hannah back to prison.

At the hospital, Blair tried in vain to comfort her daughter As they were in the chapel Blair suggested that Starr pray, unable to find the words to express herself, Starr began to sing, which lead to a montage of all of the tragic events that ushered in the New Year.

Final Days Part 22 ~ This Is Where I Cry Uncle!

2012-01-05T18:53:00.004-05:00

Six More Episodes!

Today's show was an awesome piece of work! (Did I say that?) I loved it because it was in deed full of all kinds of soapy goodness. It had Villains, Damsels in Distress, Surprise Entrances, Heroes, larger than life and one pint-size Hero!

Then there was the cliffhanger to end all One Life To Live cliffhangers, thus far anyway!

Mitch was just about to rape Natalie when John and Jessica showed up at the church. (This is reason alone for me to be sick of Mitch! I'm first of all, sick of rape on soaps, but I'm particularly sick of it on this show.) DIE MITCH! DIE NOW SO I CAN WATCH!

Jessica told Mitch that she was there for him and she demanded that Mitch let Natalie go. Mitch tossed Natalie off of the altar where he was about to rape her, into the arms of John "SleepyTime" McBain. When Jessica did come to Mitch, she spat in his face. Mitch spouted off some Bible verse which he decided gives him the right to now kill Jessica. John pointed his gun at Mitch; Mitch pointed at Jessica and suddenly, there was an extra person entering the fray. Robert Ford interrupted Jessica's murder when he pounced on Mitch. There was the sound of gunfire as, we the audience, were excluded from the action in the church.

Somewhere in a Cabin in the Woods: Troy prepared to inject Nora with a drug that would erase her memories. Nora had flashbacks of the time when Lindsay shot her up with the same drug. She reminded Troy that he was the one who repaired her and gave her back her memories, but that didn't phase Troy, not one bit. Then Nora asked him, "What if you give me too much of the drug and I can't remember who you are either?" Still un-phased, Troy attempted to go ahead with the injection. Meanwhile, Bo and Lindsay arrived and as they were looking into the cabin, Troy was attempting to give Nora the shot. Bo wisely decided not to rush in because he might cause Troy to inject the drug accidentally. Moments later, Lindsay entered the cabin and Nora suspected that she and Troy are working together, but Lindsay gave Nora shocking news. She told her that she didn't care what Troy did to her because Bo is dead. She confessed to killing him. Nora was devastated. Nora began hurling expletives at Lindsay while Lindsay maneuvered Troy's back toward Bo. Bo grabbed Troy and they wrestle for Bo's gun. Bo got the upper hand on Troy and rendered him semi-unconscious after using such caution, Bo let his guard down. Lindsay in the meantime was holding Troy's gun loosely in one hand when Troy grabbed the it from her.

Shots were fired as the audience is left outsid the cabin, in the cold.

At LaBoulaie, Sam was in the thick of things. He knows that Cole is in the cabana. He's been told by Starr not to tell anyone, but James convinced Sam that he would be saving Starr from another stay in jail if he does tell him where Cole and Starr are. Sam gave in for the sake of the safety of his big sister, but he didn't do it without first assuring a guarantee from James. "You didn't hear it from me!" James agreed to keep his source confidential.

Meanwhile, in the cabana, Cole and Starr shared a kiss. Cole confessed that he still loves Starr and that he always has. He told Starr that he wants her and Hope to go on the run with him. James interrupted them and he questioned Cole about his plans for Starr and Hope. Cole had no real plan accept that he hoped to be lucky enough to meet up with his parents. He was lambasted by James who obviously thinks that Cole is an utter idiot.

Back at the house, Sam was watching the news and he saw Hannah's picture on television while the newscaster announced that Hannah had escaped from Statesville and that she had been in prison because she hurt Starr. He looked away from the tv and spotted Hannah standing next to him. She tried to make nice with him but Sam would not have any of it. When Hannah pointed her boney little finger at him, Sam took a chunk of it out with his teeth. She picked him up and tried to usher him out of the house when suddenly Todd appeared. He and Hannah exchanged words. Todd told her that he knew what she had done to Starr, and Hannah acknowledged that the fact that this was in deed the real Todd Manning that she was talking to, but it didn't deter her. (When the going gets tough, Hannah gets crazier than ever.)

When Star, Cole and James entered the room, Cole attempted to get Hannah to let Sam go. He tells her that he's ready for them to run off together. Hannah believed him for a moment and she was taken off guard by Cole's words. That's when Sam got the drop on her, drop kick that is. Once he did that, Todd whisked Sam out of the living room. Outside of La Boulaie were the sounds of gunfire and screams.

At Llanfair, two frantic parents waited for news about their twin daughters when out of nowhere, crazy Allison Perkins appeared, pointing a gun at them. Viki insulted Allison when she called her Mitch's tool. That's when Allison shot of her mouth about actually being the brain behind that organization. She claimed to be the master mind of the prison break. She called Mitch an ineffective blunderer. Then she toyed with Viki and Clint about the paternity of their daughters, reminding them of how nearly impossible it was that the twins could have one mother and two different fathers. Allison piqued their curiosity, but suddenly no longer wanted to share what it was that she seemed so eager to share before. Allison told them that her secret was small potatoes compared to her hatred for the two of them so much that she came there to kill them both.

Clint looked at Viki and told her that he loved her. Viki told Clint that she loved him too. The sound of gunfire was heard as the audience was once again denied admittance.

Final Days Part 21~ Prison Break or Bust

2012-01-05T00:55:00.002-05:00

Seven More Episodes Left

(12/4/12)

Did you know that Statesville is a Co-ed Institution?

I love a good bad guy and there was a time when Mitch Laurence was the baddest of the bad guys. Yes! He was evil personified, but now he's just a sick joke. I was through with him when he tried to rape his daughter while spouting Bible verses, but he is just what this show needs to conclude its long run of misogynistic attacks on women. Tie the bitches up; tie them down and gag them.

Troy McIver has his woman blindfolded and bound because he loves her. He loves her so much that he planned a cozy little retreat for the two of them in a cabin in the woods.
Hell! He loves her so much that he's going to give her a drug to make her forget all about Bo.

Then there is Cole. He has Starr tied up in as well, emotionally. He breaks out of prison and he endangers his daughter, his ex-girlfriend and the rest of her family. He has also left Starr open to scrutiny by the justice system with a possible arrest for aiding an escaped criminal. Cole might look different, but he is still an impulsive, self-centered moron.

Sam is caught up in their mess and is being told once again to lie and keep secrets. One can only imagine that 10 years from now he will do time just like his mama; his papa and his brother and sister.

Do Not let this face fool you!

Bo was in for quite a surprise when he discovered Lindsay lurking outside of his apartment window. She's not there to rope him or gag him; she's there to warn Bo that Troy has plans for Nora and Matthew.

At Llanfair, Vik was frantic when she discovered that Clint had been hurt and she was horrified to find out that Mitch knocked Clint out and that he has their daughter. The ransom Mitch set forth; Jessica.

Final Days Part 20 ~ Is That A Flashlight In Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

2012-01-04T08:42:00.001-05:00

1/3/12

Eight more Episodes

Picture This!

There has been a prison break outside of Llanview and the vilest criminal of them all is now in Llanfair, the home of Victoria Lord Burke Riley Buchanan Carpenter Davidson Banks, where her daughters and grandchildren live. Mitch Laurence is back and he has a dance to finish with Natalie, his one time child-bride. (I love that Natalie gave Mitch hell, but Mitch loved it even more.) It seems as though "The Harlot" as Mitch so lovingly refers to Natalie, is hell on wheels and that just gets that old pervert's juices flowing, but Mitch is looking for something even more valuable to him. He wants his daughter, Jessica. The last time he wanted her, he tried to rape her. Natalie told Mitch that he would have to kill her before she would lead him to Jessica. Mitch assured Natalie that he could and he would oblige her desire to die if she didn't cooperate. When Mitch wanted to take Natalie upstairs, she glanced at the baby monitor and refused to go with him. After a struggle between the two of them, Clint came in and demanded that Mitch release his daughter.

Meanwhile, Nora received an un-expected visitor, the once very honorable, yet ever so horny,Troy McIver , the chest doctor. For Troy, Nora is obviously still "To Die For". (What I have always liked about Nora is that in these situations and she's been in plenty of them, Nora possessed amazing aplomb. After initial shock, Nora treated Troy like she would any other visitor who stopped by for a little chit-chat, well, 'cept she tried to call for help which Troy did no tappreciate.

At Statesville Prison, John and Bo get the names of some of the escapees and to Bo's dismay, he finds out that Troy is among the missing inmates, which prompts him to call Nora who is so cool and calm that it would be hard to discover from her voice that Troy is standing right next to her, but Bo sensed that something was wrong and told Nora to say that she loved him if Troy was there.

At La Boulaie, Todd and Blair are in the cabana (keeping warm). They are oblivious to what's going on in the outside world as they are only into each other (and so it should be; it's been eight long years). Todd made all of the right moves. He almost knocked Blair over with that kiss at midnight, then he was on his game when he confessed that he would not promise her that he would never hurt her again, but he did make several declarations to her.

I can promise that I love you.

I can promise you that I love our children.

I can promise you that I will take care of you.

I can promise you that I will look after our family.

(I think Blair swooned. I know that I did!)

And if those declarations didn't do it; that neck kiss surely did!

Elsewhere at La Boulaie, Cole who also is also an escapee took refuge in the living room with Starr. He wanted to see Hope and he got his wish when she walked in on cue, calling out, "Daddy!" (I'm surprised that she recognized him; he looks so different sent he's been in jail.) Starr was very agitated at Cole for coming to her home. Cole showed Starr a letter from his father who was thought to be dead. The letter explained to him that his mother was safe with him and that she was healing from her emotional stress (which caused her to throw Natalie off of the roof, stab Kelly [and kill her own psychiatrist, which was conveniently left off Marty's list of crimes.] Cole, as usual doesn't have a plan, but he does want Starr to hide him until he gets one. This is Cole, so we know that the bloodhounds, the police or something else will grab hold of him before he ever grabs hold of a viable plan.

Final Days Part 19 ~ Let Us Begin At The Ending (12/30/11)

2012-01-01T17:22:00.010-05:00

By The Pricking Of My Thumb ...

Something Wicked

This Way

Comes!

One could say that events in Llanview got off to an auspicious beginning if not for the inauspicious warning of impending doom from ~~The Hobbit~~ Madame Delfina.

She warned of darkness like no other descending on Llanview and that things would never be the same again. Delphina checked in with the Chief of Detectives before she headed over to Llanfair to officiate over the wedding of Rex and Gigi. The fact that this woman/man (Delfina/Delbert Fina) has been in the tour guide for Rex and Gigi's destiny says a great deal. Delfina says it all has to do with the allignment of the stars, but it has more to do with how deep the horse manure gets.

For Starr and James, there's good news

and there is bad news.

Starr's video, "Jail Bait" went viral much to the dismay of her boyfriend, James and Starr accused James of stifling her dreams to become a singer. (When in the hell did this happen?) Starr is a pre-med student, which actually is more suitable for the character.

John and Natalie got to spend time together, but instead of seeing movement, we see more of the same. John doing his best redition of Gary Cooper. "Ummm... Shucks Mame!" "We gotta talk!"

Bo and Nora did the unthinkable! They had fun! If anybody is deserving of a respite, no matter how brief, it's Bo and Nora. 2011 was a disaster for the two of them.

After years of tragedies (Shane being kidnapped; Rex being shot; Rex and Gigi being lost in 1998; Shane having leukemia; Rex hafing Stacy and a Bag of Blood; Gigi having Schyler; Rex having a series of mamas and pappas; Gigi beomg presumed dead.) Well, on Friday, Rex and Gigi finally said their "I Dos" at Llanfair among close friends and family.

For Todd and Blair, it was a time for new beginnings.

There was the new ritual of tearing up ugly shit! Todd goaded Blair into destroying the portrait that Tomas had drawn of Blair. Tea thought that Blair should hold on to it. (Nobody should hold on to that artistic nightmare.) Blair gave that piece of mess some knee action and then she killed it with the heel of her high-heeled boot.

The ritual of putting regrets in writing and tossing them into the fire.Blair's one big regret is trusting the wrong man (As written, Blair's regret is sadly ironic since

Tomas was framed by Todd for Victor's murder.)

Leave it to Todd and Blair to also break the

rules and their own rituals. They finally broke the

ritual of the near kiss

for some real kissin'

Only 9 More Episodes!

It appears that One Life To Live is going out with a bang! Who needs Happy Ever After endings, "I love yous" or pesky love scenes? Ron has put all of his eggs into one cliffhanger, stunt-filled basket and he's sure to end up with egg all over his face and a new show to assassinate.

Final Days Part 18 ~ A Christmas Miracle For Ron's Faves and...

2011-12-28T10:31:00.008-05:00

Some Ashes For The Mannings

Rex woke up thinking about his reunion with Gigi, thinking it was a dream. He then strutted over to the mirror and like Narcisis, glaring into the pool at his reflection, Rex found the love of his life.

He realized that it was not a dream when Gigi entered the room wearing nothing but a towel, which she promptly dropped to the floor. Yes! Rex and Gigi's reunion was made complete.

(Eat your hearts out Jolie and Todd and Blair fans as Ron gives you the middle finger treatment, yet again.)

At the police station, the second home to the Mannings, Blair visited her son, Jack, who was arrested for Gigi's murder (but Gigi's not dead, so WTF?) For the first time since last January (when Jack was another person) he showed delight in seeing his mom. He immediately told her that he was scared and that he didn't want to stay in jail. [I betcha Brad is feeling the same way!]

Most Manning fans are feeling sorry for his bad ass, but this Manning fan is not. This supposed bad-ass has been a true horror. He has sought after justice for the death of Victor, yet he continued to evade it for himself. He taunted his sister who was in jail. He ridiculed her in the papers and now, he's whining and pointing fingers at his Mommy because he didn't get enough attention. In the words of Victor Lord Junior, "SHUT UP JACK!"

[Now that I got that off my chest; I can say that I truly like Jack and I even liked him when many hated him and still hate him. He is Todd and Blair's son and that goes a long way with me.]

While Blair attended to her son and tried to reassure him that she and his father were doing everything that they could to get him out of jail, Todd was in John's office trying to get his son sprung.

Shortly thereafter, they were joined by Llanview's top-notch lawyer, The Widow Tea Delgado" who dutifully rubs her belly.

Tea is referred to as the best lawyer in town because she is obviously the only lawyer in town because she is a defense attorney, a divorce attorney, a child custody attorney, and she is an estate attorney. Tea demanded to see the evidence that John had and he informed her and Todd that they had Jack's confession on tape. That's when the best attorney in Llanview went to work. She informed John that hacking into a minor's cell phone was "no small matter to a judge." John assured her that the confession was not done through hacking or wire-taping. He said that it was a live confession as he showed Tea and Todd the tape recorder. Tea reminded John that he could not use the tape if a police officer got the confession through means of entrapment. John told her that the confession was voluntary and not gotten by illegal means.

Back at Jack's jail cell, he continued to lay the guilt on thick. He told his mother that the only person who ever gave him the time of day was Victor. (Huh?) He told her that she never had time for him, that she was too busy, worried about Starr, Hope or Sam. Blair let him have it. She told him that he was copping out of his own responsibility for what he had done. The one thing that Jack has always had was family, a family that loves him.

(I rue the day that Ron got the bright idea to make Jack Manning a sociopath in order to tell his "Bully" story, which ultimately became the catalyst for the Rex and Gigi tragedy/ reunion arc.)

On the other side of town, there is a celebratory atmosphere as Shane reads about Jack's arrest in the Banner. Natalie and Grandpa Clint congratulated him on his heroic efforts to get justice for his mother's death.

At the same time, Rex and Gigi made their way to Llanfair to reunite mother and son. Shane couldn't believe his eyes when he saw her. He believed that he was looking at his Aunt Stacy who had plastic surgery in order to look like his mom, but Rex reassured Shane and he responded with, "Mommy" as he went into his mother's arms

Back at the jail, Jack wondered who set him up as he stared at Neela through the bars of his cell.

Todd made a promise to Blair as she went into his arms that they would save their "little boy".

Final Days Part 17 ~ HO HO HO! Merry Christmas SUCKUZZ!

2011-12-26T14:34:00.008-05:00

Inside Ron's Mega Mind Is A Story Just Waiting To Be Mutilated.

If at first you don't succeed, try and try and try and try again. That's Ron Carlivati's motto. If Rex and Gigi aren't working, then he transports them through time and space via cell phones and television waves. In the "1968" story, Rex and Gigi became different characters who slept together and created David Vickers. That was a disaster of a story, so Ron tossed in an interloper so abhorrent that even people who hated the pairing began to root for them in spite of their common sense and good taste. Still not working? Cast a Bag of Blood and let it play the role of hero and villain. While it saves Rex and Gigi's love child, it connects Rex to one of the most infamous characters in the show's history, Mitch Lawrence. Not working yet? Let the Bag of Blood Have Rex and Gigi go on a quest for Rex's real parents. Let them discover that his parents were a set of forlorn lovers; make the blonde boy's mother a Native American and make his father a gangster and then have Rex and Gigi play his mother and father. If you still didn't GAF, Ron decided to make Rex Balsom a Buchanan. (That aughta make Asa glad not to be in the land of the living.) And because people still didn't GAF, Ron killed Gigi off. You see, that's what he does for his characters when nobody cares about them. He kills them off, then he magically brings them back from the dead in hopes that people have forgotten how unimportant they were.

No such gimmicks needed for Viki and Clint's reunion. They have real history and staying power (Yes! Staying Power, even though the show is going off the air.) Reuniting them only took the nudging of their two twins, Jessica and Natalie who are experts in the field of love. Natalie is in love with John McBain ('nuff said). Jessica is involved with the man who raped her and got her pregnant. But what the hell! If it takes these two dullards to get their parents back together then so be it. Clint and Viki have a long history together and as the show comes to a close, they end up together, as it should be.

No Joy In Jolieville:
On the other side of town, John McBain played nurse maid to The Widow Delgado because she she was suffering from a bad case of gas mixed with a case of the grumpies because she believes that Todd killed her husband and then made her brother disappear. John assured her that they will bring that evil son of a bitch, Manning down for his dastardly deeds. John cautions the hot tempered Widow Delgado to cool off for the sake of Victor Lord Junior's baby.

A Christmas miracle caused John remember that he has a baby boy of his own and he made his way over to Llanfair with presents and an apology for Natalie for his being such an ass, but their conversation was interrupted (big surprise) by Shane who told him that he had evidence that proves that Jack killed his "Mom". (So much for John and Natalie getting closer.)

Over at LaBoulaie, Everyone, including Jack, is in the Christmas spirit. In fact, they have so much of the Christmas spirit that they went over to Rapehaus to give the Widow Delgado and Dani some and it must have worked because soon after they left, Dani discovered some gifts for her and her mom with a special note from special needs Victor, telling them how much they meant to him.

Blair, Starr, Jack and Sam returned home to see Todd dressed like Santa and placing presents beneath the tree. Blair smiled at Todd and thanked him (That was the T&B moment that Ron promised on twitter), but no good thing lasts for the Mannings. John soon arrived to announce that Jack was being arrested for the murder of Gigi Morasco.

Final Days Part 16 ~ Lemon Pie In My Eye, I Wish!

2011-12-21T00:36:00.003-05:00

After yesterday's special episode, it's back to business as usual. So,What's different? Not much. Tuesday's episode (the regular show) had a woman in drag, Delfina became Delbert Fina.

Delbert is the pie judge and Rex thinks he knows him from somewhere. Del assured him that he does not, but if you've watched this drek for the past 3 or 4 years, you will remember that Rex and Gigi traveled back to the future, from Llanview Pennsylvania (2008) to Somewhere in Texas (1968) where they were met and guided by Delbert, who ultimately aided their return from Texas,1968 back to Llanview, 2008.

See, Rex and Gigi are not just "a super couple", they are a super-duper, super natural couple, so they needed a super natural being to get them back together, Delfina, the psychic phenom/Delbert the pie eating fool.

There were gratuitous shirtless scenes.

In the immortal words of ~~Inigo Montoya~~ Ron Carlivati, "Let us go back to the beginning."

It's the day of the big Pie Eating Contest in Paris Texas.

All of Ron's characters from his original story were gathered at the Bon Jour Cafe where Moe and Noelle try to talk some sense into Viki's silly little head and send her packing, back to Clint, where she belongs, but not until the winner of the pie eating contest was announced. Without suspense of fanfare, Noelle was awarded the blue ribbon for the best pie, which she promptly gave to Shane in honor of his not dead mother.

Speaking of Shane and his not dead mother, his plan to get Jack Manning to admit his part in Shane's not dead mother is in full swing as his flunky, Neela tapes Jack's confession of his wrong-doing.

Looks like Shane will get the ammunition he needs to nail Jack, but in the meantime, Jack attempsts to nail Neela.

BTW - Jack's father, fomerly known as "Scarface" thinks that Jack has great taste in women.

Why is it that any man who is in ten feet of Tea Delgado becomes a sanctimonious prig? John McBain is just that, a sanctimonious prig who vomits in his mouth a little when he's around a would be criminal. It's funny that he didn't vomit a little in his mouth when he realized that Tea's husband, aided the woman who tossed the love of his life off of the roof of a building, murdered a doctor, hid that woman while she was in the possession of his kidnapped son, and got that woman out of the country to evade justice all together. If that didn't make him vomit in his mouth a little, how about the fact that Tea's husband had proof for months that Liam was John's son?

Viki makes it back home to Llanfair from Paris Texas in all of five minutes, but not before Kim makes her move on Clint.

And finally, the stars alligned themselves and Rex and Gigi came face to face at the Bon Jour Cafe where there love afair was rekindled.

Final Days Part 15~ Shades Of Gary Tomlin Or Was It A "Pigment" of My Imagination?

2011-12-19T22:02:00.010-05:00

Eighteen or so episodes left to air One Life To Live and the show's producer and Head Writer continue to parody the show (that's been their bread and butter for decades), the soap genre and the fans. In doing so, they pretty much show why the genre is nearly extinct.

(A) The plots are ridiculously laughable.

(B) The plots are stale and redundant.

(C) The characters are stereotypical.

(D) The characters are shallow and exhibit little or no depth.

(E) Male actors need only have a six-pack and show it “gratuitously” to stay employed.

(F) High school and college girls are stupid sluts.

(G) TPTB decided to get their storylines from Jerry Springer and Maury Povich.

(H) TPTB forgot that technology and the OJ Simpson trial evolved the viewers.

Checking around the net, I saw that some viewers managed to laugh in spite of the tolling of the death knell, while others found nothing funny about the joke that seemed to be played audience.

Here's what some are saying about this special episode of One Life To Live:

"This was so dumb. That is why I stop watching this show. No wonder this show is going off!"

"Cornball, campy fantasy eps are one of the reasons soaps are on a ventilator, OLTL in particular. What a waste of precious last shows."

"I HATE this joke! Thought I was the only one! The show is nearing the end and this is how it's treated? Like a joke? How very sorry that the actors had to go through that. I feel like someone spit in my face."

“I don't care how silly and stupid and campy it is... I am laughing my fool head off right now, and I'm not even halfway through the episode. I think it's perfectly delightful that they're willing to take on the stereotypical soap characters, actors and the crazy stories that go with them. RH with a mullet pronouncing "damned" as "damn-ed..." HI-liarious!"

"I loved Howarth's bad, fake, cliffhanger face.

I love KA's voice. I also prefer Easton in this role!!!"

"I really like KDP in that trench coat and the black boots.".

"There were so many great things about today's episode. Add me to the people who discovered that I dislike Tea, but actually really like Florencia. She was awesome."

"ES is working that accent lol"

"I think it's fun and the constant comments about the gratuitous shirtlessness is very true."

"And RH was hysterical and smoking hot, much better than the three Waxed Wonders."

(Gifs by Winterbee)

"Love the Starr dani James Jessica ford Nate scenes they r hilarious and I love how they didn't even try to make the slap look real lol"

"Shaun and Destiny were fabulous..I haven't laughed like that in awhile"

"The TW and IK walk off the empty set was especially poignant when you realize that they filmed this when the cast still believed that the show had been saved."

That darkened screen was sobering to me as well. I felt that sadness when the actors tweeted and left messages on their facebook pages of their last moments at the ABC studio. We have a few more weeks left, but the reality is that it's over. I will miss One Life To Live tremendously, mainly because I was always hopeful that things would get better, but with every writing team, the problems were exacerbated because each new Head Writer wanted to make his or her mark by out-absurding the previous writer.

These are One Live To Live's Final Days and this episode indicates the one clear vision that I've seen from the producer and writer in years, that the genre is as incestuous as the relationship between Brandon and Briana, therefore it remains stunted and malformed.

(For Frank Valentini and Ron Carlivati, on to the next ~~incestuous relationship~~ show.)

Final Days Part 14 ~The Manning Family

2011-12-16T08:23:00.003-05:00

“A son is a son till he gets a wife; a daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life. “

Todd was busy thinking of ways to foist himself on Blair while she is unaware of his conspiracy to make her latest lover disappear. Starr gave both her mother and her father sound advice. She told her father to go slow, and he earnestly wanted to follow her sage advice, but his instincts (the cause of all of his pain and suffering) got the better of him and the minute Starr was out of his office, Todd called Blair to put into action that other bit of advice that Starr offered him, “Tell her how you feel.”

At the Christmas tree lot, Starr is equally thoughtful of her mother as Blair reflects on her bad choices in men. Starr suggests that Blair give her father another chance. Blair does give Todd’s recent kindness toward her some consideration, but Starr also tells her mother that she understands why she’s in no hurry to move in that direction.

Blair: I fell in love again with a very violent man. What’s wrong with me?

Starr: You just have a thing for exciting guys.

Blair: I don’t want to end up with yet another man who can end up in jail or in a ditch.

Starr: You have the biggest heart out of anyone that I know. You can’t help but find the one.

Blair: The one! The one! Is that you Todd?

Then there is Jack!

Todd sets Jack straight.

Todd: You need to knock Jack!

Jack: You can take this stupid newspaper, but you can’t take me.

Todd: You mean the stupid newspaper that you tried to burn down?

Todd makes a declaration of love

I don’t care what you do to me Jack. I will never stop loving you.

We’re family Jack! We will do anything we can to protect one another.

I’ll do whatever it takes to protect what’s mine.

Let’s talk terms!

Are you blackmailing me?

Essentially, yeah!

Baby steps Jack. Baby steps

Final Days Part 13 ~ O' Christmas Tree! O' Christmas Tree! Thy Leaves Are So Unchanging!

2011-12-14T08:50:00.011-05:00

I thought that I'd take a look at Tuesday's show as an examination of the truth. Truth is unchanging like the leaves on a Christmas tree, when it's alive anyway. This is what Emily Dickinson had to say about the truth.

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant--

Success in Circuit lies

Too bright for our infirm Delight

The Truth's superb surprise.

It seems as though some couples are heading toward closure as the show comes to an end and that closure can only come about as certain truths are revealed.

Clint depends on Kim, a consummate liar to tell him the truth. While Viki depends on Charlie, an alcoholic and adulterer to tell her the truth. And guess what, they both told the truth. Kim set Clint straight about his feelings for Viki, and Charlie set Viki straight about her feelings for Clint. Both were reminded that they were just avoiding the unavoidable truth about how they feel about one another. What remains to be seen is what Clint and Viki will do with knowledge of the truth.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

As much as I ridiculed the pairing of Jessica and Whored, it seems as though their pairing is a truth that I violently opposed, but it appears now to be self-evident. Jessica, Ford and baby Ryder are a family unit. It was sealed when Bobby picked out the family tree, fought for it, took it to Llanfair, helped dress it and didn't get his ass handed to him by Clint.

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

That is the TRUTH; however, Gigi can be hidden right under Rex's nose.

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

Cutter knows the truth about Gigi, but he also knows that if Gigi knows the truth about who she really is, he will be miserable because she will leave him and go back to Rex.

One truth out of context can prove very dangerous.

Here's the truth, Ron's truth, which in itself is very dangerous. Whack-o Stacy loved Rex so much that she changed her face so that she looked like the woman Rex loved, Stacy's sister Gigi. Stacy planned to do away with her sister so that she could take her place and be with Rex. It's the lack of context that's all wrong, but the truth of it that makes it dangerous.

One truth out of context can prove very dangerous.

Here's the truth, Ron's truth, which in itself is very dangerous. Whack-o Stacy loved Rex so much that she changed her face so that she looked like the woman Rex loved, Stacy's sister Gigi. Stacy planned to do away with her sister so that she could take her place and be with Rex. It's the lack of context that's all wrong, but the truth of it that makes it dangerous.

What people believe prevails over the truth.

Fake-Aubrey, who is really Kristina, stills goes by the name Aubrey. Fake Kim who is really Aubrey still goes by the name Kim. Rama still believes that she can beat her money our of the real Aubrey who is now the fake Kim with a new face.

And Shaun believes that in spite of Vivian's protestations about marriage, she is primed and ready to make that commitment to him. He's even bought a ring.

Final Days Part 12 (Picture This... If You Will!)

2011-12-13T10:34:00.002-05:00

It's a starry night in Llanview Pennsylvania as it is as well in Paris Texas.

In Llanview:

The doorbell rings; a man opens the door.

To his shock he comes face to face with his ex-wife, the "exotic" dancer. She gives him a piece of her mind; he returns the favor, only to realize that they have been set up by the "exotic" dancer's brother. (Cue the music)

Elsewhere in Llanview picture a living room and a sofa, draped by a man and a woman as they are wrapped in each others arms. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an interloper appears. She speaks and the peace is broken.

Meanwhile in Paris Texas, that no good brother of the "exotic" dancer is doing some quick stepping to get himself and the woman the "exotic" dancer thinks is her best friend out of town because she is not really the "exotic" dancer's best friend; she is actually Gigi, the woman who the "exotic" dancer wanted to trade places with.

In the meantime, Gigi spies on Rex and Viki while they both reminisce about the Bon Jour Cafe and Gigi, the problem is that Gigi doesn't know that she's Gigi.

Meanwhile Llanview's Grand Dame of Society, sheds her red tailored suit for a waitress uniform, which incidentally has her name on it. She smiles and prepares to receive her first order, the patron lowers his news paper, shocking the hell out of the staid, Grand Dame when she realizes that it's her ex-husband, Charlie, the ex-drunk.

Back in Llanview the Save Our Story Movement lives! Roxy is keeping it going as she fills her cohorts in on the trials and tribulations of Johnny and Natty.

In the meantime, Johnny and Natty continue to act like shy 12 year olds around each other while baby Liam (who has more sense than the both of them) munches on stale beer nuts Johnny found under his bed.

At nights end, the peace is restored once the interloper is banished to La Rape Haus.

and

All Is Well That Ends Well On This Starry Night in the town of Llanview, at a place known as La Boulaie.

To be continued...

Final Days Part 11

2011-12-12T08:57:00.005-05:00

Obviously viewers are not buying Blair’s great love for Tomas Delgado, nor are they buying her rejection of Todd Manning (the love of her life), and they certainly are not buying that Tomas, the man who is responsible for turning Todd over to a brutal and corrupt rogue agency for eight tortuous years, is either a “good man” or a victim. So, Ron has once again turned to the soap media to plead his case.

He recently told SOW: Todd wants a unified family for Christmas, and he's on the verge of getting it this week. The trouble is, it's all based on a lie. Todd has arranged things so that Tomas confessed to murdering Victor, a fact that is distressing Tea and Blair.

"Poor Todd" says Ron Carlivati, “He does this every time. He's so close to getting everything he wants, but then he does something that threatens to ruin it all. The tormented Todd knows if this comes out, he'll lose everything, but that doesn't stop him from going full force ahead trying to get Blair back. His relationship with Starr is stronger than ever. Todd is getting it all, only to possibly lose it all again"

This is one of Ron’s jokes. Who hasn't been tortured by the would be comedian who throws out one pathetic joke after another while the room remains in dead silence except for the loud braying coming from the cornball who is the only one entertained by his pathetic jokes?

Ron is applauded for his brilliant work by the same press that he runs to whenever he wants to convince the audience to buy into his inept storytelling. Jokes, Ron has plenty of those, and the jokes are all on the audience. Even as the show comes to a close, Ron plays one joke after another on the fans of the show's most iconic character, Todd Manning.

Well, the joke is on you Ron because we, the people are not buying it! Roger Howarth and Kassie DePaiva won’t let us. They understand their characters too well and they are so awesomely, awesome together in scenes.

They fit together perfectly!

Final Days Part 10 (Bon Jour Mon Amour)

2011-12-07T21:22:00.003-05:00

There is nothing more fun for me than to than watching a pissed off Victoria Lord and Queen Victoria was plenty pissed off today. She’s furious at Clint for kissing her and saying that it may never have happened if Kim, his ex-wife, “the exotic dancer”, had not blown him off. Viki left the house in a huff, taking her attitude to the Buenos Dias Diner wjere she poured her heart out to Noelle. (Where the hell is Dorian when I need her?)

In the meantime, Poor obtuse Clint remained in the dark until Nigel stopped mourning the loss of his favorite soap opera to enlighten Clint about the error of his ways.

Once Viki returned home, she told Clint where he could stick his lips the next time he gets the urge to place them on her lips. (Well, not in those exact words, but that’s what she meant.) It was either that or “Frankly my Dear, I don’t give a damn!”

Rex found out from Kim that Stacy had plastic surgery so that she could trade places with Gigi in order to be with him. The idea of that would turn any man into a bug-eyed fool.

Gigi continued to have déjà vu moments while Cutter explained them away. After their excursion to Rio these two broke-asses decided that they need jobs. Gigi remembered enough about waitressing to land a job at The Bon Jour Cafe, and Cutter was hired as a dishwasher.

Jack Manning is responsible for somebody dying, but since it was just crazy Stacy, maybe he gets a free pass. In fact, maybe the mayor with give him the key to the city for saving Gigi’s life. He’s also added arson to his repertoire. Maybe he’ll receive a commendation for doing such a thorough job, clearing the building and setting such an efficient fire, affording the firemen the opportunity to get some well needed practice. In the meantime, Jack made his first date.

Over on the other side of town, Pimp-Daddy, Shane convinced Jack’s date to get a confession from him on tape.

Final Days Part 9 (@#$%*!!!Fraternity Row Has Been Cancelled!)

2011-12-06T18:58:00.005-05:00

Today was the day that the soap writers decided to spoof themselves, the soap genre and poke fun the audience as well. I’m glad that they put everything into perspective for me.

With four more weeks left for the airing of One Life To Live, the mental giants, Frank Valentini and Ron Carlivati decided that it would be neat to have a little fun at the audience’s expense. What’s new, right?

Other action did take place, but it seems that all of the Llanview residents were watching “Fraternity Row”, which actually was sort of a soap opera with in a soap opera back in the day.

Rex and fake Aubrey visited Kim in jail in order to get information about Stacy.

Gigi and Cutter had lunch at the Bon Jour Café in Paris Texas and it was Déjà vu all over again for both of them.

At the Buenos Dias Dinner, Shane and Noelle watched “Fraternity Row”, peeled apples and talked about Gigi.

Jack and Starr made fun of each other for watching a soap. Afterwards, Starr tried to get Jack to open up about what he had done to Gigi. Jack confessed only that he had feelings for a girl, but that Shane was going to mess things up for him. Starr’s advice to her brother, “You tell her yourself, before anyone else does.” Being very much like his father, Jack decided that he would come up with a plan to get the girl on his own.

Over at Roxy’s Hair Salon, things got heated up when Roxy, Shaun, Rama and Destiny found out that Brianna and Brandon were not only lovers but they are also brother and sister. Neela joined them and she got an earful about that horrible “Tortured Prince” of hers.

The antics of Brianna and Brandon 'bout gave Clint another heart attack. They had him swearing at the tv.

Apparently Viki and Clint are fans of “Fraternity Row” as well and talking about the show brought back memories of Megan, Viki’s daughter who starred on Fraternity Row. Some how talking about the soap got Clint and Viki thinking about love in the afternoon.

Final Days Part 8 (12/5/11)

2011-12-06T18:33:00.001-05:00

The search for the woman with Gigi’s face continues, but now we know for sure that this woman is not Stacy, but she is in fact, Gigi Morasco. Gigi obviously has amnesia and she continues to rely on a lying con-man to tell her the truth and he continues to lie to her. They both decide that they have to get out of Rio so, Cutter spins the globe while Gigi chooses a spot for the two of them to plant themselves and Gigi’s finger points to Paris Texas. In less dramatic form, Rex and fake Aubrey have decided to go back to Kentucky in hopes of finding the real Aubrey who now calls herself Kim.

Did Jack really tell Shane that he was hoping that he would have gotten over his mother’s death? That boy is missing a piece of his brain, but he does have feelings because he is trying to tell Neela that he likes her. “I was hoping that we could go out sometime.” After what she’s heard from Shane, Neela shies away from the boy she dubbed, “The Tortured Prince”.

Far away from the halls of Llanview High, the plot thickens at the LPD when John’s meeting with Blair, Tea and Todd is interrupted. Calmar, Tomas’s dear friend has reappeared. John was gearing up to use his brass knuckles and phone book on him when Calmar confessed that Tomas had killed Victor. Calmar’s confession was obviously one under duress because he was very hostile toward John for having him brought in for questioning. His implausible explanation for Tomas killing Victor was that he wanted him away from his sister and his niece. When asked how Tomas got Dorian Lord’s gun, he said that he followed Todd to the dock where he watched Todd give Louie the gone and took it and murdered Victor with it.

In the meantime Todd is waiting impatiently in the halls of injustice for a “chicken salad sandwich and some ice tea, maybe”

The “Our Gang Crew” has been served with papers from Rick who has threatened to sue Dorian for all that she owns because he was injured in her home. There is one way out and that is for Starr and Nate to convince the public that they really are cheating on James and Dani. Starr contemplated unleashing the hounds of hell on him. Yes! She’s telling her Dad.

Oh, the good news is that there is one relatively happy couple in Llanview, well almost. Shaun wants to get married and Vivian does not. There in-lies the conflict, but after thoughtful conversation, there pretty much agreed to disagree. Shaun still wants to marry Vivian and she still does not want to marry anyone, but she does want to stay in a committed relationship with him, which puts them far above most couples in Lanview.

Final Days Part 7 (Inplausible Plausibility) 12/2/11

2011-12-06T18:11:00.003-05:00

Starr and Blair had a showdown over Tomas and Todd. Blair is clearly on Tomas’s side. She believes that Tomas is a "good man" and Starr on the other hand, does not. She told her mama why he wasn’t a "good man". She reminded Blair that Tomas has done nothing but lie to her since she met him. Blair’s response, (I’m paraphrasing) What’s a few lies among lovers?” Starr then went for the jugular, reminding her mother that it was Tomas who took Todd away from them and turned him over to a heartless bitch to be tortured everyday for eight long years. Fortunately for Blair, she doesn't bleed anymore after she was stabbed multiple times, so her response to that was, “HE WAS JUST DOING HIS JOB!” (My response to that is “WTF are you smoking?”) Picture this, Blair. You are suddenly taken away from your home; you are cut off from the people who are most important to you and you are tortured for years. Would you be so understanding then?

Jack Manning has it all figured out. He is convinced that his father is framing Tomas. He has even figured out the motive. Jack also wants his father to pay for killing the only father he’s ever known and it NEVER, EVER registers with him that he is walking around free and easy after someone died because of what he did. Not only that, he could have once again been responsible for the deaths of others, yet Jack only wants one man to pay for his crimes, his father.

Dani is not so sure that her uncle is innocent. She reasons with Jack, telling him that anybody is capable of committing murder.

In the meantime, Todd is trying to keep his son, who is trying to put him in jail, out of jail. Once he realized that Jack was the one who started the fire at The Sun, Todd moved into action. The one person who could implicate Jack is Todd’s secretary. Todd bribed her, promising her a promotion and a great deal of money if she does not reveal that it was Jack who called her and told her to have everyone leave the building.

The week ended in Sunny Rio where Rex and fake Aubrey shared a kiss. Rex said that he’s ready to move on, in spite of the fact that he has left his son yet again while he chases after the woman with Gigi’s face. While Rex and fake Aubrey are cozying up, so are Cutter and Gigi. Yes! Gigi! That fabulous plastic surgeon revealed that the woman with Gigi’s face had never had plastic surgery. Cutter now knows the truth, so what is he going to do about it?

Final Days Part 6 (Rainy Days and "B" Days Get Me Down)

2011-12-02T10:04:00.001-05:00

Signs that it is a “B” Day or Should I say an “X” Day. How can you tell? You can tell by the gratuitous nakedness of the characters revolved around a flimsy and ridiculous plot.

The point of the plot is that Stacy has Gigi’s face. Stacy supposedly has Gigi’s face, but we all know that it’s not Stacy with Gigi’s face, but it’s Gigi who thinks she’s Stacy with Gigi’s face. Instead of Rex being with his very depressed, sad-sack of a son, he’s off with Aubrey, chasing the woman with Gigi’s face. This is another one of Ron’s maneuvers to have all characters converge at the same place. Read spoilers and you will get where that place is. If you don’t read the spoilers, then you should do what Inigo and Fezzik did in The Princess Bride. Re-Ron does that a lot. “Go back to the beginning!” Ron began his love affair with Gigi and Rex when he wrote his "Paris Texas" arc. Who didn't end up in Paris Texas during the conclusion?

Is Jack Manning Really an Idiot Savant?

Jack might be dumber than a box of rocks, but he’s smarter than the average Llanview citizen (which isn't saying very much). But Jack has broken the “Todd Code”. Convinced that Todd killed Victor Lord Junior, Jack accused his father of murder. No one else was convinced that Todd was guilty and that’s funny because Todd use to immediately be everybody’s go to boy when something went wrong. But Jack held fast to his belief and he’s still convicted to it. (Now, we all know that Ron has jokes a plenty, so maybe Todd didn’t really kill Victor, but right now, the story says he did do it.) Jack has also figured out that Todd was responsible for Tomas disappearing and his motive for making it happen.

Hearts, Flowers and Officer Lovette

Of all of the characters that Ron has created, I think that I like Brody best. He is above all things, loyal, in fact, he is loyal to a fault, and that is what usually gets him into trouble. He is so dedicated that he wants those things in return and since he has never had that type of loyalty returned to him, he does desperate things to gain, love, trust and loyalty from others. I hated the way he was written throughout the Jolie paternity mess, but I was reassured that Brody would come out of it unscathed. How is that being done? Through martyrdom. Brody is being written as a poor, hapless martyr. (I guess it beats crashing into a frozen lake.)

Final Days Part 5

2011-12-02T08:58:00.002-05:00

The Blame Game

There is plenty of blame to go around and around it went.

Now that Matthew is out of his coma, he has to deal with being an expectant father. Destiny reminded him of the time they had sex and she told him that she got pregnant. He gave the standard soap opera response when, “ But we only had sex one time!”. If people never take anything of value from One Life To Live, I want it to at least gain the knowledge that once is enough for thousands of sperm cells to reach one egg, penetrate it and form a fetus. I learned that in health class, but students never attend school in Llanview, so maybe that’s why they are so clueless about how babies are made. In typical teen fashion, Matthew found a way to blame it all on his mom. Nora countered by telling him that she wasn’t the one who had un-protected sex.

(Welcome Back Matthew! Fasten your seatbelt because this ride will make you wish you were back in a coma.)

The Road to Hell is Paved with Roxie’s Good Intentions

Roxy got Natalie to thinking today! (Ironic, I know!) In Roxy’s quest to do good by her children, she, like most parents gives unsolicited advice and other tid-bits, so shared with Nat that John confessed that he still loved her weeks ago. Instead of thrilling Natalie, Roxy pissed her off. Natalie was convinced that John still wants to punish her for her lies, so she set off to give John a piece of her mind. (She really should not give any of that away.) Natalie determined that it will be better for her if she just broke things off between them. Without giving it any real thought or consideration, Nat rushed over to the police station to tell John that the two of them were to be co-parents to Liam and nothing more. ( So much for the Jolie reunion, for now anyway.)

Too Close for Comfort (Round One)

Clint and Viki had plenty to celebrate. All is right with the Buchanan clan. Clint has made amends with Rex; he’s building a relationship with his grandson, Shane and his favorite nephew has awaken from a coma. Viki and he got caught up in the moment when she ~~backed~~ ran away.

Mission Not So Very Impossible
(Your Mission Mr. Manning is to get Blair back by any means necessary!)

Todd has never cared about playing fair; he only cares about the end game, and winning it. His prize is Blair. Once John was through giving Todd the Third Degree, Todd immediately walked over to Blair, gently squeezed her arm and asked if he could take her home. Blair got all kinds of nervous. She even adjusted her panties and told him to show his concern for Tea.

Once Todd got Blair back to La Boulaie, he had her right where he wanted her, in his arms again.

Final Days Part 4 (A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To OLTL)

2011-11-30T09:56:00.003-05:00

Tuesday, November 29th

I actually enjoyed the show. Talk about a rollercoaster ride! Last Wednesday I was furious with the writers and the Executive Producer for allowing Matthew to die; nearly a week later, I am smiling from ear to ear.

The Hospital:

The look on Matthew’s face when he realized that his best friend was pregnant was priceless! I can’t wait to see more! I haven’t said that in awhile, but I loved the scenes with Bo, Nora, Matthew and Destiny. Just think! Matthew had sex once; then he went into a coma. He can’t even remember the unmemorable event and now he’s going to be a papa. Two years ago, all Matthew wanted was to be able to walk and to play basketball.

Austin Peck has done an amazing job, playing the very sleazy Rick Powers, and as much as I have hated just about every new character brought to the canvas, I don’t despise Rick, though I think that I should. He is totally ridiculous, absolutely unethical, and utterly despicable. Watching him lying in a hospital bed, wrapped from head to foot in bandages as he toyed with the hapless “Our Gang Crew”, (Starr, Dani, Nate and James) made me actually laugh out loud. I needed a laugh!

The LPD:

How many times did John look at Nat and say, “We still have to talk? Talk already man! Tell her how you feel. Enough with the, “We still have to talk” bullshit! Say the words! You know what she wants to hear. How hard can it be? But he sure does smile whenever Natalie is around. Then there was the daily announcement by Tea that she is indeed going to have Victor Lord Junior’s baby. She shared the glorious news with John and John pursed his lips, holding back what he really wanted to say about the man who could have prevented him from going through months of agony, thinking that another man was the father of his son. (Good job pursing, John!) And how about Natalie with that low-cut dress and that big-ass badge around her neck! Way to look official!

Inside Viki’s kitchen:

I have loved every scene with Viki and her wayward brother, Todd Manning. I will be forever grateful that I have been able to witness Erika in scenes with Roger again. I am watching every scene with delight, knowing that they are the last scenes that they will have together.

La Boulaie (The Foyer):

The scene resumed from the day before with Todd holding Blair in his arms. I have heard the expression, “They were lost in each other’s arm” , but these two exemplified the words. Todd was where he longed to be for eight long years, he missed THIS woman, and holding her in his arms, he sniffed the scent of her hair as he touched it with his finger tips. (I am convinced that every one of Todd’s senses has been heightened. Roger certainly plays it that way.) He must have missed her scent and her touch. “It’s a terrible thing to miss a woman.” So here they are, soulmates. Don’t be fooled by anything that you have heard or seen in the past eight years and don’t be duped by Blair’s SUDDEN feelings for Tomas. Todd and Blair have a connection that cannot be broken and Roger Howarth and Kassie DePaiva know that and they play that. During their brief scenes, they took their characters the full gamut of emotions. They are like jazz musicians who experiment with the nuances of every note. Each time they are in a scene, they bring both the old and the new. Todd is different. He is flirtatious and he is willing to bare his heart to the woman he loves. This leaves him open for some heartache, but he’s going full steam ahead. Blair on the other hand has hidden herself in “the love” of a new man. Yet when Todd suggested that they go somewhere, she was all over it. She responded with hope, “Go where?” Then with despair, “Everything is closed.” Todd knew just what cord to hit when he reminded Blair of the time that they went sledding down Cemetery Hill with the trays from Rodis. That memory brought smiles to their faces and tears to their eyes, and mine as well.

Final Days Part 3

2011-11-29T07:48:00.007-05:00

How could I have forgotten that Ron’s got jokes! What a joke he played, having us think that Matthew died (for good) on Thanksgiving Day. I’m still laughing at that one. Of all of Ron’s jokes, that was one of the funniest jokes ever.

I might not sound grateful that there was a twist, but I am. I am truly thankful that Matthew lives even though One Life To Live won’t.

So, Monday’s show was one that delighted me. It was all very soap operish, which is why I’ve always loved the genre. After months of separation, John and Natalie finally were given the opportunity to talk things out. Natalie seemed so grateful to have what was once a lie, now become what is the truth. She lied to John about the paternity of their son Liam, but that turned out not to be a lie after all, but even Natalie realizes that all may not be right with the world and that it doesn’t necessarily mean that she and John will have a reunion. John in typical John fashion suffers from constipation of his feelings, and he just can’t get out what he wants to say. It doesn’t help when he is interrupted by a call from Tea who is worried because her brother has been missing for 24 hours. He bravely ignores the call by the Widow Delgado, but he cannot ignore the call from Blair who has the same fears about Tomas’s disappearance.

In the meantime, Todd’s guilt eats away at him and Viki wants to know what’s bothering him. He shares with her that there is a snag in his plans to win Blair back, that snag being Tomas Delgado, which is also the source of his guilt since he made Tomas disappear.

Blair and Tea, the sister wives of Victor Lord Junior, are worried about Tomas’s absence. Blair is convinced that Tomas would not leave her. (Why? Because the sex was that good?) Really Ron does have jokes because just as Blair is day dreaming about it, Todd rings her bell, literally, not figuratively(If Only!) He’s there to comfort her because he’s heard that Tomas has left her.

Over at Victor Lord Junior's Haus, a discovery is made in Tomas’s bedroom, smut-filled magazines and a nine milimeter, the same type of weapon used to kill Victor Lord Junior.

ABC and Prospect Park Give Fans The Bird!

2011-11-24T09:18:00.001-05:00

I watched and incredible episode of One Life To Live on Wednesday. It was the show's Thanksgiving episode. The story was narrated by a character who was in a coma. Kudos to the genius who came up with that idea and a BIG FAT FUCK YOU to the genius who decided to put him in a coma in the first place.

Matthew Buchanan is the son of Bo and Nora, one of the show's premier couples. He was conceived out of deperation to give Bo something to live for when he was near death. Nora was so determined to give Bo a child after the death of his son Drew that she enlisted the help of Sam Rappaport, friend and Attorney-at-Law. She even had Asa's blessings because her motives were right. Ironically for fans of Bo and Nora, this act of kindness, was seen as betrayal and it was the straw that broke the backs of one of OLTL's most beloved couples and due to faked DNA results, for years Matthew was thought to be the son of Sam Rappaport.

In spite of it all,their fans, having the tenacity of Nora, herself, never gave up. They waited, and they waited and they waited and finally TIIC reunited Bo and Nora, but not of course without some major hurdles in their way. They overcame all of them, only to discover that Matthew who had never been in any trouble before, had killed a man. Yes! Little Matthew Buchanan grew up to be a murderer and now he's a dead murderer.

Matthew's death stunned viewers, leaving them dazed and confused; however, it was Prospect Park who dealt the death blow when they officially pulled the plug on All My Children and One Life To Live. Plans to go ahead with their proposed online project have been cancelled.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/11/23/why-all-my-children-and-one-life-to-live-are-dead.html

Last week the actors were basically told to get the hell out of the ABC studios, and the day before Thanksgiving they were told that they officially had nowhere to go.

Final Days Part 2

2011-11-22T06:21:00.003-05:00

We have approximately a month and a half left for One Life To Live, to live and the canvas remains filled with characters that Ron created. Some are not presently on the canvas, but Ron is making certain that even they get some air time.

Gigi, Shane, Brody, Cutter, Kim, Aubrey, Slick Rick, (The Fords) Eddie (who is returning) Robert, James, Nate, Dani, Tomas, Baker, Irene, Louie, Calmar, Vimal, Rama, Neela, and Destiny (He stopped caring about her two years ago, and he never knew what to do with her or her family after he created them) are all Ron Carlivati creations. In creating new characters, Ron maligns those he didn't create. He takes them apart, bit by bit until their essence is gone and they are unrecognizable.

Another of Ron's characters is Charlie Banks. He came in with that Paris Texas crew and Dorian was almost destroyed in the process of making that sad-sack her hapless victim. (I still hate him for what he did to “The Diner” by turning it into that crappy Buenos Dias Cafe.)

The show is so heavily laden with Ron’s characters that veterans have disappeared from the canvas or they are used merely to prop Ron’s favorites.

A character who has been on the show since birth was turned into a socio-path so that Gigi, Rex and Shane get yet another front burner story? First there was the great “Bullying” story. Remember the hype around that? This story was going to change things for kids who are being bullied throughout the country. Jack Manning became the most hated character on the show when only months before, soap opera message boards were lit up with posts by fans who loved the Christmas episode where Jack and his little brother saved Santa. It wasn’t enough that Jack was turned into a teen bully, he was also turned into a murderer. Why? So that then again, Rex, Gigi and Shane get yet another front burner story. “See Rex chase Gigi!” “See Gigi Disappear”.

How about Ron’s hard-on for Robert Ford? This character broke up a beloved couple and while Markko ended up with a broken heart, Bobby ended up with the girl, whom he quickly dumped when he saw hot mess, Tess. It’s not suppose to matter that this slime had sex with Jessica and got her pregnant when she was going through an emotional trauma caused by her “father’s” attempt to rape her. So, screw Jessica, (which is what he did.) Bobby gets the girl and the baby while Brody who loved Jessica gets another trip to St. Anne’s. [Brody is the one character that Ron has placed on the chopping block several times.] I think he does it because Brody comes with a “Crazy Card”, which ultimately relieves him of culpablility when he messes up.

We were suppose to root for Cutter when he was choking the shit out of Alex, right? Yeah! I think we were suppose to root for Cutter, the guy who just had his sister put in jail for a murder he committed.

Then there is that slew of people who have been attached to Todd. His mama, Baker, Louie and Tomas. Louie I liked, but the rest of them can go to hell! Ron believes that he can make the audience go against what they know, again by flipping the script. He blew it when he had Tomas admit to Blair that he delivered Todd’s bloodied body to Irene, where he was imprisoned, and tortured for eight years. The script says that Tomas was a good guy, who was just doing his job, but the audience is not buying that bullshit. So, Ron continues to flip the script and in doing so, Blair is being sacrificed by literally being in bed with the enemy. Ron may have forgotten, but I haven’t. Blair kidnapped Mitch Lawrence and put a gun to his head because she thought that he had something to do with Todd’s disappearance, yet because Ron wants a “juicy” triangle, we are suppose to believe that Blair loves this man. We are not buying it. The irony is that as the show heads for its final episodes, we should not have to buy any of Ron's usual or unusual crap. Enough with the trickery. All any of us have ever wanted was good storytelling and all we have ever gotten from Ron is a big, fat “SCREW YOU!”

Final Days Part I

2011-11-21T11:17:00.001-05:00

OLTL is in its last weeks of broadcasting on ABC and the problems with the show have people pointing their fingers at Prospect Park as the culprit. A particular "insider" at Daytime Dish gives updates on storyboards and breakdowns with constant reminders that stories have been changed for PP. Maybe that’s true BUT…. I DO NOT fault them for the colossal mess that has been penned by Ron Carlivati and sanctioned by Frank Valentini.

What is going on with Blair right now has the smear of RC all over it. Let’s face it. For three years Ron wrote a story of TnT TRUEST LOVE EVER! He discounted Blair. He did his damndest to make her a non-entity, but Ron could not do that without cutting off his nose because he needed Blair to prop his favorite pairing or to prop the latest new comer on the show. People like to play this down, but let’s look at the facts.

I won’t even go back as far as two or three years ago. I’ll go back to ONE year ago. It was last year, at this very time that Blair was presented with a mysterious box which was left to her by Eli. News of this box evinced last October. Theories spread about what could be in “The Box”. Finally Blair opened it in January. When she opened it, people recognized that it was not only a portrait of Blair in the box, but they recognized that it was a portrait from the Gold Balloon Wedding. One cannot think of the GBW without thinking of Todd Manning. Immediately after that portrait was presented, ABC and Soapnet aired the GBW. Also, it was at this time that word was out that Roger Howarth was coming back to OLTL. SON was not wrong. They knew what they were talking about, yet others claimed to be the first to break the news. (I’m digressing.) The point is that Blair (Kassie DePaiva) ushered in what should have been one of the biggest stories of the year. You know where I’m going with this.

Why has she been absent in her own story? (Remember that RC spoke of “Blair’s Journey”.) Everybody who tuned back in knows that the story should have been about Blair and Todd finding their way back to each other. (I’m not foolish enough to believe that everybody wanted a Todd and Blair reunion, I am saying that anybody who knows Todd and Blair’s history, knew that a reunion was expected.) Not only THAT, but Todd had been absent for eight years, and RC and FV failed to seize the opportunity to tell a very human story of a man and a woman working out past issues and gaining new insight into each other, but they also failed to capitalize on the aspect of Todd getting to know his family, the family that he longed to get back to.

Who in their right mind would prefer to see Todd interact with strangers? Hell! Even TNTers would prefer to see him interacting with Tea and Dani than to see him with this endless parade of NOBODIES.

Prospect Park does not OWN OLTL, so how is it that they got the power to reroute stories or to utterly destroy them? This “Tale of Two Todds” was strictly Ron’s vision and because it was Ron’s vision, everything and everybody other than Todd, the woman he loves and his family are magnified. Again, Ron is going for his epic close, which has always spelled disaster because the people who should matter get thrown under the bus, while virtual strangers to the canvas get to express their love for one another,gain entrance into core families and relationships with beloved characters and even get their happy endings.

To Bully Or Not To Bully? That Should Never Be The Question!

2011-03-21T18:36:00.017-04:00

This story is sure to make a lot of people cringe, but will it be a story that includes all of the elements of good storytelling. (One of the key elements, characterization, which includes motivation, seems to be missing.) This has been a pet peeve of mine for the past few years, during Ron Carlivati’s tenure as head writer. I think that he is full of ideas. I even think that many of his ideas are good ideas, but they are good ideas that never come to fruition.

Unfortunately, The Great Bully Story was undermined because there has been no explanation for Jack’s sudden change. The last time that the audience saw Jack, he was gallantly trying to save Santa's life. The next time we see him, he's in Shane's face, calling him a little bitch.

I keep hearing that the end of the story will have a devastating result, but my question is what will happen after the final PSA has aired on bullying? What will happen to the bullies involved in this story? Will there be some explanation as to why Jack Manning who has always been somewhat of a mischievous kid, with a smart mouth and keen perception, is now a cruel bully who finds pleasure in someone else’s pain. Will it be too late to redeem him. Some even suspect that Jack will end up being the victim as a result of him pushing Shane too far.

In spite of being leery of how this story will be told, If it must play out, I do want a story that will encompass all of those involved directly, but I also want to see how it affects those who are indirectly involved. Gigi is oblivious as to what is really going on with her son. Why is she so ready to believe that Shane is now fighting and stealing? Echo knows that Shane is being bullied, but she has agreed to keep her mouth shut. (Will there be consequences for her, as she’s been more invested in Charlie than in Shane?) Rex has been so busy with his new daddy that he's had very little time for his son. How will he react to all of this? Jack is Blair’s son, and it’s clear that she adores him. How will she feel when she finds out that he is not who she thought he was? What is Todd’s part in all of this? Is he as unaware as Blair is? Will he take any responsibility for his son’s actions?

I just think that it is pointless to tell a cautionary tale about the horrors of bullying when the main character on the show is a beloved bully and romantic lead.

A Few Observations

2011-03-14T21:55:00.006-04:00

I've noticed that the repeat episodes were chosen to show events and relationships that tie into the present stories. In fact the repeats may very well be the basis of the present storytelling. I guess I would have to say that the present story arcs were outlined first and then the repeat episodes were chosen as a type of expositional device. They were used in particular to give CBS refugees background information on the characters and up-coming storylines.

Some of the themes inherent in Ron’s stories are, “Love Hurts”, “Betrayal Is a Natural and On-Going Occurrence”, and “Parenthood Is a Motha”.

Charlie loves Viki; Viki loves Charlie; Charlie feels incompetent and cheats on Viki with Echo.

Charlie’s little soldier won’t allow blood to flow to his brain, so Charlie cannot fathom that Echo knew all along that Rex wasn’t his son. Charlie is heading for a fall, one that may very well take him off of the canvas forever.

Dorian wants to make things right in Viki’s life (I still don’t buy this one.) because …. I’m not quite sure why. (This will end up being a lemon pie in Dorian’s eye.) Watch as Viki turns on her.

Is Clint really a bad guy? He has proven that he will do anything to protect the family. Consequently, he has done nothing but hurt the family. In fact, Tea compared Clint to Todd. Clint of course took offense, telling her, “Don’t compare me with that psychotic husband of yours!” Perhaps Clint doth protest too much.
Okay!

So now Kelly is John’s sex toy? Since GT came back to OLTL a year ago, her character has been Todd’s staunchest supporter; she even flirted with the idea of having a more intimate relationship with him. She has played detective with John, played footsy with Rex, and discovered that even though she dumped Joey in order to be with Kevin, whom she eventually married and spent years with,Kelly now realizes that she’s in love with Joey and we’re suppose to root for her to be with him.
There's only one thing that would make that work. Some one as vile and treacherous as Aubrey Wentworth. Her job is to stimulate and saturate Joey’s brain, keeping the head on his shoulders drained, as she and her lover steal the Buchanan fortune.

Todd and Tea remain majorly “in love” and that is a good thing for everybody in Llanview. It appears that if they threaten each other and whack on each other enough, they are rendered relatively harmless. As Tea can’t buy a legal win and Todd is targeted and hit with a near fatal bullet.

Blair’s relationship with Tomas is moving at a snail’s pace. People that complained about the rapidity in which Blair’s last romance took off, are now complaining about the slow pace in which her current romance is moving. Hopefully, that’s about to change. The sensitive multilingual, artist (Tomas)is now literally shedding his cover in the middle of Todd’s living room as he patches up a bullet wound. Is Tomas “Mr. Evil”? What is he hiding?

Jessica has left the building and Tess is in control and married to Robert Ford. She is his punisher. The question is, will she be his redemption? Natalie is still paying for being a big fat liar. John is obviously her punisher and he is doing it by means of doing Kelly.

My assessment of the teen stories: It is unfortunate that Frons and Ron have decided to make them the centerpiece of the show. The characters are without depth or complexity; the performances are dull and lifeless. They are sucking the life out of the show. I think that it's because anything that has been written for teens has been so stereotypically characterized, according to all that Ron has seen in the movies.

A Few Observations

2011-01-28T09:58:00.006-05:00

This Clint story (which presents him waaaay out of character) is one of the most interesting stories on the show and in true Carlivatti fashion, it has a thousand players involved in it. BUT I love it! Jerry ver Dorn has been AMAZING! RSW and HBS have given powerful performances as well.

Unfortunately, there are some weak elements. One of those being that damned Ford Family. Mean ol' Clint hurt Bobby. (BRAVO!) BUT unfortunately, it looks like Clint is kicking puppies, first with sad-eyed Inez, then pathetic Nate, then whiney-ass James and again he's poking sticks at Bobby who he should have had Mr. Black and Mr. Blue wipe out.

TPTB should just cut their loses because none of these boys can produce the quality of acting or (testosterone) that their roles require.

I know that they are going to make that bitch, Ford the daddy of Jessica's baby, and that infuriates me, but since Mr. Black and Mr. Blue didn't kick his ass enough, let Tess do the job.

I love the addition of Vimel and Rama to this story! Yes! They add a little flavor to the pot.

Oh, Yeah, and you know what I cannot wait to see? Dani and Nate toying with having sex and Todd and Tea worrying about it. "FUCK THAT!" (Dani's words, not mine!)

Starr needs to sit her ass down in the attic.

Could Langston have killed Eddie Ford? (Ya'll know how Ron writes shit with no clue as to how to end it and then throws somebody under the bus and says, "That was our plan all along.")

I'm a little anxious and somewhat apprehensive about the way that this bullying situation will be handled. I understand that Jack will be bullying Shane. (Wait until Todd bullies Shane's parents.)

I love Dorian! I especially love her when she is making someone's life miserable. She's on to Clint, but she does not even know what that bastard is capable of. I can't wait until she finds out that he had David put in a Moroccan prison.

You know what's sad? Sad is watching Viki fight for that sad-sack, dullard of a husband, "Charlie".

Kim Zimmer is great as an annoying bitch.

Poor GT! Kelly sucks more and more with everything that Ron and his crew write for her. See, honesty goes a long way. They refuse to look at Kelly's life with Kevin and deal with it. That story would have given GT something real to play. This "love" for Joey is utter bullshit!

Speaking of Joey! I think that he is Charlie's real son. That boy is dumber than dirt.

Aubrey and Cutter are nasty.

Natalie is a LYING LIAR, so I guess her punishment is to live with John in that damned hotel room. Oh, Nat! Please ask for more! John has had all of his women in that room. He even moved Marty in there as they got ready for their baby. Come on!

Again, Jessica is shown as the Little Buchanan Princess! She gets welcomed home by Viki. She is surrounded by her love ones in the Llanfair Mansion. (Nat is greeted by drunk ass Roxy!) ENOUGH with the parallels! If they insist on Natalie being a Buke, what's with the poor, wretch routine?

The Blair and Tomas story holds a great deal of promise as it involves a mystery.

Genetics: OLTL's Incessantly, REDUNDANT Theme

2010-11-04T11:42:00.004-04:00

Not only is Ron Carlivati stuck on stupid, he is stuck on genetics and nature vs. nurture. There is nothing wrong with delving into this subject, but he has been playing it out in one sorry scenario after another for years. I’m not quite sure when it started and I’m not saying that Ron is the only writer who has done it, but he is the only one who is so fascinated with the subject that nearly every character on the show is faced with rediscovering him or herself when she or he discovers that one or both of his or her parents aren’t really his or her parents. Who will ever forget that dreadful "Back To The Future story", 1968? That was an embarrassingly bad attempt to explain David Vickers as Bo Buchanan's son, and it was yet another excuse for Ron to write for Rex and Gigi.

David Vickers is the son of Bo Buchanan. Say WHAT???

Rex’s father of record (Dr. Balsom) isn’t really his father. So What?

Dani’s father of record (Ross Rayburn) isn’t really her father. So What?

Nate doesn’t know his real father. So What? (I don't know who Nate is and I don't care to know who he is!)

Roxie isn’t Rex’s mother. That's a big deal,even if Roxy is not. It takes away her connection and her meaning, and the connection has conveniently been given to another character.

Roxie is really the mother of Schuyler Joplin. (This was discovered just before he was hauled off to prison, never to be seen again, so what does it matter?)

Dr. Joplin wasn’t really Schulyer’s mother. (So, what was the point?)

Destiny’s real father is her brother, Greg. The people she thought were her
parents are actually her grandparents.

Next up are the children of the Buchanan twins. The paternity of their unborn babies is up for grabs, and DNA testing is about to run amuck.

The Triumvirate of Stupid

2010-10-09T20:29:00.012-04:00

http://www.tvguide.com/News/One-Life-Live-Deal-1024080.aspx

TV Guide Magazine: Did your renewals come with a mandate from [ABC Daytime chief] Brian Frons?

Carlivati: It's the same as always. We meet with Brian regularly and he always challenges me to look at certain aspects of the stories, to go deeper on some, to make certain stories more real for the audience. He's always telling us not to lose sight of this or that. He's very analytical and can look at a story and tell you where the flaws are. So that is the mandate he gives me going forward — to find the real emotion, to make the show relatable. I like a certain over-the-topness to stories. I like the bigness of our show. So I must find the balance to making the epic moments both relatable and soapy, so that we still have all those juicy scandals and the big secrets exploding.

Valentini: All our veteran players are under long-term contracts at this point and so all the ducks are in a row. We can use their characters fully for many years to come.

Carlivati: At the same time, our young people are one of our big strengths and we'll continue to move them into new phases of their lives. We've now moved Langston, James and Starr on to college. Dani, Destiny and Matthew still have a couple of years left to go in high school. We're already looking at young characters like Shane and Jack and thinking, "Well, when they're in high school, we can do this, this and this..." We have to keep that optimism. In our minds, the show's going to be on for a hundred years. Natalie and Jessica, Viki's twin daughters, are about to have babies — those are the future characters of the show! We were recently in a story meeting with Brian, where we were discussing a certain secret coming out, and Brian said, "It would be so much better if you held that for five years." And, of course, it's very encouraging to hear him talk that way.

AND Did Ron Really Say This?

We look to push the envelope and be a little more outrageous, but the flip side is that you don't want to go into panic mode and do things just to shock the audience. The trick is to stay true to your characters and the stories and believe that the audience is going to be engaged without shock value.

REALLY Ron? In what universe does this happen?

Marty Didn’t Get To Make A Phone Call!

2010-10-09T18:44:00.006-04:00

Todd kept Marty away from her family for months. She was told that she would be killed if she ever left his home. Marty was lied to and given a false sense of security with the man who had raped her.

If Ron wanted to truly redeem Todd, write this current TNT crisis as karma for both Tea and Todd. Instead he writes Todd and Tea as starcrossed loves who are the hapless victims of Todd's ex-wife, Tea's ex-husband and now Evil-Eli. Todd should have an epiphany. He should recall what he did to Marty and to her son and he should finally get it. He has yet to show that he ever got it, thus the air quotes when he references the rape of Marty.

Tea should have time to think about how Marty felt, (being frightened, being lied to and being powerless, having to depend on the kindness of strangers) when she badgered Marty on the witness stand during Todd’s trial.

Tea was able to phone Todd, but Marty was at Todd's mercy. She had no memory of who she was. Her mind was a blank and Todd filled it with terror, with hopelessness and with lies. She didn't know that she had a son who was mourning her and numbing his pain with drugs.

So, Why should the audience care about whether or not these two have their happy ending?

If It Doesn't Fit... Get Another Ross!

2010-10-02T07:36:00.009-04:00

One thing about (The Idiots In Charge) of One Life To Live, if they mess up, they usually come up with some contingency plan, no matter how absurd it is.

Let’s face it! They messed up big time with the Todd/Tea/Ross/Dani story. I don’t know what Ron Carlivati was thinking when he began to tell this story, but what he did was establish Ross Rayburn as a very loving father. Even prior to Carlivati’s writing, Ross was also established as a very caring and considerate man when he was first introduced to the canvas. He was tall, very sexy and very handsome. He was hired by Todd to keep his eye on Blair and to report her plans to him. He had a job to do and he did it, to a point. He did, however try to thwart Todd’s plans to have his children kidnapped by common thugs. He revealed the plans to Sam who alerted the authorities. Once he did that, he attempted to leave, via his boat. Todd tried to escape also and right behind him was Tea. The ship was wrecked and the rest is history. Todd, Ross and Tea ended up on a deserted island. Ross was nothing but kind and considerate to Tea. Todd on the other hand was a jerk. He even threw a hand grenade a Ross and Tea when the two of them cozied up to one another in the bunker. When Todd finally came around to Tea’s way of thinking and the two of them had sex, he left on a raft to get back to his family. It has been established that Ross took care of Tea once Todd left the island. They comforted each other by having sex. When Tea became pregnant and told Ross, he married her, assuming that the child was his. It has been established that Ross helped deliver their daughter, that he cut the cord and handed her to Tea. It has been established that Ross was the care giver and the teacher of their child. But somewhere in their fifteen years of marriage, Tea decided that Ross was a violent man, so she left him for the love of her life, Todd Manning because he’s a really nice guy.

Here’s the thing, and it’s been the thing with OLTL way too often. Even though Ron tried to throw Ross under the bus, he was well liked; so much so, that many chose him over Todd. That’s right, viewers were rooting for Ross. At the time, Ross was played by Michael Lowry an actor who had chemistry with both Blair and Dani, his daughter. This is how (The Idiots In Charge) fixed that. They hired another actor to play Ross, one half his size and one who does “weasel” extremely well, Billy Warlock (ex-AJ Quartermaine, King of the Losers).

The result: Todd Manning wins the rootability contest by a technical knock out! Ross's arms were too short to box with Todd.

Todd Receives His Can of Karma

2010-09-23T10:37:00.005-04:00

Really? That can of dirt? Karma? Hell no! If Blair was behind Tea’s “death” and she presented him with that can of dirt, then that would be karma. Seeing Todd sitting there hugging a beautiful urn, filled with dirt or pig ashes, has no meaning, none at all because Todd Manning can only relate to how his world is effected.

Todd Manning sitting in a courtroom, fighting for custody of his daughter, and having the court determine that just because his sperm was planted in an egg doesn’t give him claim to this child. Now, That’s karma! Unfortunately, the sting is taken out of it because Blair is there to tell the court that Todd is a “great” father, Todd, the man who gave her son away and then told her that he was dead, then handed her a can of dirt when she asked to see him. Todd, who has kidnapped her daughter, and attempted to have both her daughter and her son kidnapped, is being heralded by their mother as a “great” father.

There is yet another dose of karma for Todd, and it just might stick. Todd believes that his wife is dead. He does not know that she is alive and being kept away from him. Just two years ago, Todd kept Marty away from the man that she loved and her son. Now, to have it happen to Todd, that would be KARMA served with a cherry on top!

Death Becomes Her, But Wait...

2010-09-19T06:44:00.005-04:00

It’s ALIVE! The clever Carlivati had us all fooled with this one. (NOT) He dug down deep into his rabbit hole and gave his favorite character a stage four tumor. Tea’s fans were true to form when they bragged about Tea’s very large tumor and compared it to Blair’s itty-bitty tumor. Don’t ya know that whatever Tea has, must be bigger and better than anything that Blair has. Ron delivered, right?

In his effort to debunk the T&B “myth” as he calls it, he created the TNT Fantasy Tour - 2010, complete with a stage four tumor, a bucket list (I needed a bucket for that one.), a marriage and a “death”. What won’t Ron do to prop this chick? For two years he has made Tea Delgado the centerpiece for One Life To Live. He has manipulated story after story in order to keep her viable, but she is not viable as a centerpiece character on the Llanview canvas. In fact, she is so unimportant that she has no real connections to anyone on canvas other than Todd Manning and their daughter, but this has not stopped Ron from trying to Tell Tea’s story because in his mind, it is such a great story to tell. Unfortunately, her story is only as great as the writer who is telling it, and in this case, the story is being told by an inept writer who lacks vision, depth and most importantly, truth.

I shouldn’t be so hard on the man though. Ron is sort of a Frankensteinian genius. He has taken bits and pieces from this and that and stitched them together in order to create the perfect him, Tea Delgado. She lives! It's ALIVE!

What's In A Name

2010-08-13T14:31:00.006-04:00

According to William Shakespeare, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” So, why doesn’t the name, Bennett Thompson sound as sweet as the name, Elijah Clarke? There is just something about that name, and there was just something about that man, with Blair Cramer, but all of what Elijah Clarke was ceased to be the day that it was discovered that Elijah Clarke was an alias used by a psychopathic killer, named Bennett Thompson.

Let me go back to the beginning. In February, Brian Frons and Ron Carlivatti promised the daytime audience that they had this HUGE story involving the Cramer women. This promise was made when the two time Emmy Award winning actress, Gina Tognoni reprised her role as Kelly Cramer. The huge story hinged on the threat to the Cramer women from the evil Mitch Lawrence. Unfortunately, Mitch was so poorly written that he was escorted off to prison shortly after Kelly’s return, but not before Kelly’s mother died from an apparent heart attack. The Cramers were sad for a moment; Kelly took a new job, Dorian took to her mayoral duties, and Blair took a new man, Elijah Clarke, a successful and generous attorney; most significant for Blair, Elijah Clarke was the polar opposite of her ex-husband, Todd Manning.
Elijah appeared to be everything a woman could want in a man. Like usual, Blair put the horse before the cart when she discovered Eli’s sexual prowess before she knew his heart, but things soon changed, and she found him to be a most attentive lover and a wonderfully supportive friend. He was often referred to as, “NotTodd” almost as often as he was referred to as Eli or Elijah. Blair reluctantly began to fall for Eli. Blair’s head told her to take it slow, to be cautious, to protect her heart, but we saw them fall in love and we witnessed Eli romantically proposed to Blair, and just minutes later, it was revealed that Elijah Clarke/”NotTodd” was actually, Bennett Thompson, a man who had so severely beaten Ford that he wasn’t expected to live. (Hey! I could live with that! Ford is a worthless, misogynistic prick) but within a week, the audience learned that the kind, considerate, even-tempered man, they came to know as Elijah Clarke was not only a pretty good multi-tasker, but he was a maniacal, serial killer.

According to the Book of Ron Carlivati, Eli murdered Melinda Cramer because she discovered his true identity and was going to warn her niece, Blair. (Here’s the thing. Melinda has been away from the Cramer women for years, living in a mental hospital. In fact, no one had even mentioned her name until she turned up dead.) Since it was actually Melinda’s friend, Rodney who identified Eli as Bennett Thompson, he had to be eliminated. Eli then pushed a pregnant Marty Saybrooke down a flight of stairs, killing her unborn child because he wanted to create a diversion for John McBain who was investigating Melinda’s death. Next on the list was Robert Ford. Eli bashed his head in because Mr. Ford was blackmailing him and threatening to reveal his true identity. Then we see him threatening an emotionally, unstable co-ed, first threatening to do harm to someone she cares about and then holding a gun on her and making her take pills, enough to kill her. He doesn’t stop there. He drugged Rex when he realized how close he was to finding out his true identity, and the man from the hall of records suddenly died, probably because he could identify Bennett Thompson. If Ron didn’t pile enough shit onto Eli, he also revealed that he was behind Tea’s illness, and supposed death. For those who still are not convinced that Elijah Clark is pure evil, Ron piled on a couple of dead wives, making him a black widower. So while Elijah Clark is “Mr. Nice Guy”, Bennett Thompson/Roy Patterson are cold blooded killers. What’s in a name? Not much, but when you are a writer who pulls stories out of your ass, several names can buy you some time while you the message boards, looking for a viable explanation for the bullshit you've foisted on your viewers.

Is Tea's Death Synonymous With OLTL's Own? Both Are Lingering, Sleep Inducing Bores!

2010-08-11T11:02:00.010-04:00

Tea is DYING and Ron is full of bullshit. This Tea is dying story is Ron’s last ditch effort to try to save his horrendous love story. He wrote it once and it stunk. He re-wrote it and it stunk. He threw everything out and decided to dig down way deep into his bag of tricks and decided that by giving Tea a fatal decease he could finally tell his “tragic” love story.

Poor, dying Tea got hoisted up yet again by none other than Blair Cramer, who has been lifting up this lead ball since Ron decided to try to make it bounce. If Blair could have sympathy for Tea, everybody should have sympathy for Tea, right? Ron pulled this straight out of his handbook, “Training the Audience 101". It seems to have worked according to some of the message boards where fans, “Just love Tea and Blair as friends.

Friends? Blair and Tea should never be friends. You had better believe that if it were Blair dying, Tea would have filed papers seeking custody of her children while Blair was on her death bed. Ron has managed to re-write history and what he doesn’t re-write, he just deletes. Tea’s motives are always pure according to Ron. According to Ron, Tea did Blair a favor when she took her daughter from her. She was just giving her a home until Blair got well. Ron neglects the fact that Tea was more interested in keeping Blair’s daughter away from her even when she was well. If she kept the daughter, she also kept the man. Ron even had Blair thank Tea for taking such good care of her daughter, overlooking the agony she was in when Starr was away from her. Of course this works with the new viewers who see Blair’s contempt for Tea as irrational and it works for Tea fans who saw nothing wrong with a woman taking another woman’s child away from her while she relishes in her misery, but not to worry. Tea is giving Blair guardianship of her rotten teen-age daughter. That evens the score, right?

If you didn’t buy Blair and Tea as friends, Ron dug even deeper into his bag of tricks to pull out Starr Manning herself to give a testimonial that Tea is the bestest stepmother ever, which is laughable because Starr was just a little girl when Tea became a distant memory, never mentioned again until Tea-Propping time.

Ron is so schizophrenic in his storytelling that he has deleted that pesky little incident where Tea sneaked into Starr’s home and badgered her into committing perjury. She played on Starr’s guilt, telling her that her father tried to kill himself because of losing her, knowing that Todd tried to kill himself because Marty, the woman whom he raped again, told him to jump into the river. Starr was almost thrown in jail because she followed the advice of her step-mother when she testified in court to save her father from going to jail.

So, Tea is dying, and Ron has given her story all of the fanfare of a dying heroine, including a back story to re-emphasize her sad, sad life. Ron penned Tea’s bucket list and allowed her and the love of her life and their love child to do whatever it was that Tea wanted to do before she kicked the bucket. He even gave the lovers a wedding, complete with of their children in attendance. Heart wrenching, right? BUT Hold the Presses! Ron has one more TNTrick down his rabbit hole. It's sure to make the show vanish.

Too Many Newbies In The Soup

2010-08-11T10:26:00.010-04:00

I haven’t had the desire to write anything about One Life To Live in Months because there hasn’t been much to write about. Ron continues not to use his veteran actors in any meaningful way and he has made the mistake of bringing on a whole slew of newbies to the canvas. It appears that he has the lineup that Brian Frons has been looking for, so at least the head mouse is pleased, and I have to admit that it is somewhat of a fete to have accomplished. The newbies include a mother and her three sons, one for Langston, one for Starr and one for Dani. That is music to Brian Frons’s ears? “Teeeeeeens, Glorious Teeeeeeeens” is the tune Frons has been singing since he took over as the head of Daytime TV. The Ford boys are the answer to his prayer. Too bad the viewers don’t see it the same way, but that has been the problem for years. There is a huge disconnect between the Idiots In Charge and the audience. TIIC believe that they can train viewers to accept what they give them. The result has been thousands of viewers turning off their televisions and walking away for good.

Ron introduced a character named, Ford briefly last summer. He brought him back, supposedly because the audience response to him was positive. So what did Ron do? He made Ford a repulsive misogynistic womanizer, but now, he is trying to re-train the audience so that they like Ford who actually has a first name, “Bobby”, (Ford just sounded too cold, too distant, which was what Ford was for months). Ron had to go back to the Todd Manning Manual on “Redemption”, Chapter One to redeem Ford. Rule Number One, Blame everything on an abusive father and the mother who walked out on the abusive son of a bitch, leaving the son (or sons) behind to take the brunt of the father’s abuse. I mean, it worked for a rapist, right? Why shouldn’t it work on Ford, “Bobby” Ford that is? Ford has been a lean sex machine, since he came to Llanview, having sex with young girls for his pleasure and then discarding them without a thought. Ford’s major conquest was Langston, Dorian Lord’s adoptive daughter. His goal was to seduce Langston, not just to have sex with her, but to humiliate Langston’s long time boyfriend, Markko as well. Ford succeeded in doing that. Ford also so seduced Viki’s emotionally imbalanced daughter, Jessica, who is now pregnant. He’s a pretty scummy dude, but it’s all because of his mother.

The second son in this un-holy trinity is James, who kidnapped Starr Manning after her graduation ceremony. At least he waited, right! That actually went over pretty big since Starr’s current boyfriend was behind bars for beating her daddy’s ass pretty good. Some Todd Manning fans love him and they are eating up the James and Starr relationship with a very large spoon. Why might this be good for the show? Well, it seems that bad-boy James Ford brings out the bad girl in Starr and that’s a side of her personality that has been missing far too long. James redemption for kidnapping Starr came when Starr shot him.

The third son needs no redemption as he was introduced before the other brothers showed up. He is a good boy who loves his mother. Nate is dating Dani. Dani is also the daughter of Todd Manning.

The problem is that Dani is new also.
Then there is Inez. She is presented as a hard working, long suffering woman who has been dedicated to her son Nate his entire life. Well, it turns out that she is also the mother of two other sons, the sons she left behind with their abusive father. Because she was abused by him as well, she fled for her life when she was pregnant with little Nate.

That about sums it all up. Too many newbies in the soup is a recipe for indigestion.

Ron Carlivati Shares The Secret of His Success

2010-04-07T12:41:00.005-04:00

NB: Ron, everyone just loves your innovative storytelling. Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?

Ron: I give 'em the old razzle dazzle
I Razzle Dazzle 'em
I Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
I Give 'em the old hocus pocus
I Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

Fan: What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?

Ron: Just Razzle dazzle 'em
And they;ll never catch wise!
Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle

NB: You and One Life to Live have the buzz that reaches far beyond the soap community. How have you managed to achieve such incredible heights?

Ron: I Razzle dazzle 'em

I Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous
Row after row will crow vociferous

I Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
I Fool and fracture 'em
How can they hear the truth above the roar?

NB: What about Todd and Tea? They have the greatest love story ever told. How do you manage to convince the audience of that?

Ron: I Throw 'em a fake and a finagle
They'll never know you're just a bagel,
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more!

NB: How do you explain the adoration of the press that you have garnered since you began as the head writer on One Life to Live?

I Give 'em the old double whammy
I Daze and dizzy 'em
Back since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler

NB: Can you explain your philosophy when writing for sweeps?

Ron: I give 'em the old three ring circus

I Stun and stagger 'em
When you're in trouble, go into your dance
Though you are stiffer than a girder
They'll let you get away with murder
Razzle dazzle 'em
And you've got a "rape"romance
Give 'em the old
Razzle Dazzle

NB: How do you get the audience to buy into your stories of switched babies, month old bags of blood, lying strippers, a crazed cult leader and his followers?

Ron: I Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle

I Razzle dazzle 'em
Just show 'em the first rate sorceror you are
Long as you keep 'em way off balance
How can they spot you've got no talent
Razzle Dazzle 'em

And they'll make you a star!

The Big Cramer Reunion – All Hype and No Bite!

2010-03-06T21:44:00.005-05:00

For months, the news was out that Gina Tognoni was coming back to One Life To Live. This of course was a hellava big deal because Gina is a two time Emmy Award winner. Getting Gina to sign with One Life To Live was heralded as some type of magnificent coup, and for months the anticipation of her arrival was promoted as the “Cramer Women Story”. Frank Valentini was able to bring Laura Bonarrigo, and Melissa Fumero, Cassie and Adrianna, back for this AMAZING story. One internet site reported: Get ready One Life to Live fans. The Cramer Women are back this February and it’s going to be hot! Daytime Confidential did a podcast with all of the Cramer Women, prompting long time viewers to stay tune and enticing newer viewers to tune in.

It was all a hoax folks!

The Big Cramer story was introduced with Adrianna and Kelly sitting at a table, talking to each other about what had been going on in Llanview. The conversation offered no revelatory information. I will admit that the audience knew something that Adrianna and Kelly didn’t know and that left them vulnerable. So when a very handsome stranger came over and introduced himself, he had Mitch’s minion written all over him. Once Adrianna left with him, there was the threat that she might be in eminent danger. This point was made more compelling when Cassie called Kelly and warned her to be on the look-out for suspicious strangers. Props to Carlivatti for introducing that element of suspense into the story. It turns out the Frenchman was a red herring.

So, here you have Kelly and Adrianna together for the most part, only to be separated because Adrianna wanted to indulge herself with a well made French dessert. Then Cassie phoned Kelly from Atlanta, while Dorian sat in a police station and Blair sat on Todd’s bed. When the women finally came together, with hugs, suspicious stares, tears and bitchy snipes, they received the dreaded news that a Cramer woman was indeed dead. Melinda Cramer died of a supposed heart attack, but Dorian was sure that Mitch was behind it.

Here is the problem. Nobody gives a damn about a character whom they almost forgot existed, and there are those who never even heard of Melinda. But she is Kelly’s mom so that is a big deal for Kelly even though she barely knew her mother and the audience only saw the two of them interact once. New viewers know nothing of her and spend much of their online time asking who in the hell she is. I can only imagine offline viewers are scratching their heads, wondering who Melinda Cramer was.
So, there you have it, the Big Cramer Story. People were really excited; they were ready to invest in One Life To Live as it reached back into its history to take one giant leap into the future. Instead, the writers and producers have once again given the audience another colossal chain yank.

Blair, The Stiletto-Shoe Wearing, Whore Vs. The Flat Orthopedic-Wearing-Goody-Two-Shoed Saints

2010-01-11T18:01:00.007-05:00

I wrote this awhile ago, but after Blair’s romp in his hotel room and atop the new police commissioner’s desk, I thought that I would repost it.

Blair has been labeled as a whore and a slut. I for one don’t think that the worst thing that one can do is sleep around. On the other hand, I can see how some would get upset about it. Decent women just don’t do that sort of thing; they just don’t have sex when they want to forget the past or simply want to feel alive. I guess the problem might be that some see Blair’s sex drive as somehow defining who she is, and that is just not cool. No woman should be defined or validated by her sexual desire or her sexual prowess. “It just ain’t penguin”… I mean… It’s just not lady-like, and all female soap characters should be lady-like, upright, uptight, do-right, anal, goody-two-shoed-hypocrites. I mean, isn’t that why we watch soaps? Don’t we watch soaps to learn moral lessons about our own lives? Weren’t they created to teach us lessons about who we should be and how we should behave?

Personally, I watch soaps for their gritty nature, and for the story-telling of course. I’m a voyeur at heart, peeping in at the not so nice slice of life.

So as I see it, when it comes to being a soap whore, one should be a good soap whore. That means that she should know who she is when it comes to her whoredom; she should have no pretense about what she does, and she should have no pretense about why she does what she does. It means that she doesn’t just get to whore around when her DID kicks in or when she’s stranded on an island or locked in a basement. A good whore is shameless. She makes no excuses. She delights in giving and receiving pleasure. She shrugs off the feckless invectives of her rivals and ex-lovers.
She brushes herself off and moves on.

F You Ron!

2009-11-28T11:59:00.012-05:00

I have complained about the propping of Todd and Tea individually, but most glaringly has been the propping of the two of them as each other’s true love. It appears that Ron Carlivati’s premier couple are not as successful as he thought they would be, so Ron has pulled out all of the stops to make both Todd and Tea look sympathetic. This cannot work because this premise is purely the antithesis of their true nature. These two have left carnage wherever they go. Todd does whatever he wants to, to anybody he wants to and Tea comes along and cleans up his messes, well unless he messes over her and then it’s, “Poor Me! Todd has hurt ME more than he’s hurt anyone”. Todd is the same way. He can hurt others without any remorse, but have someone do something to him and he cries like little a bitch.

It was bad enough that Ron utterly gutted Blair as he threw her in the middle of what he called a triangle. He made Blair needy and pathetic as she went after Todd who gave her no reason to care about him. Months prior to Blair’s re-newed feelings of love for Todd, he had raped Marty, in what infamously came to be called a, “rapemance”(called that because of the insensitive bastards who think women really do have rape fantasies and long to be raped.) Todd had plotted to steal their daughter’s child upon her birth. He then planned to desert his children and run off with his rape victim.

Blair was appalled by his actions. It should have been Blair holding Todd off at a distance, but Ron wrote it the other way, and that just does not work. Then there is Tea who mopped, wiped and cleaned up all of Todd’s messes. All the while looking down her nose at Blair, holding her in distain because of her place in Todd’s life and judging her abilities as a mother.

The revelation that Todd and Tea had a child together has been built with the fanfare of the Second Coming; however there have been several glitches in the storytelling. One was the fact that the audience had been told over and over again that Todd left Tea on the island seven years ago to return to Blair, Starr and Jack, then suddenly, we are introduced to a fourteen year old girl who was conceived on the island seven years ago. For viewers who have watched the show for years, they know this is ALL wrong because this sorased child is older than Jack, Todd’s second child.
Once the reveal was set up, Ross “Moon-Doggy” Rayburn, surfer dude, one of the main characters in this sad tale became a raging lunatic, but viewers know that Ross Rayburn, the non-biological father of Tea’s daughter, has been made to be the fall guy to prop Todd and Tea. When the writers are through with him, Todd Manning will look like a choir boy.

Viewers are not as stupid as Ron thinks they are, and they are letting their feelings be known. They are outraged over the ridiculously dark turn Ross has taken.

Here are some of the things being said about Ron’s sacrificing Ross in order to justify Tea’s actions and to make Todd Manning appear to be “Father of the Year”.

-“Todd is just so - ugh, I can't think of the fitting word. He figures out Dani is his bio-child and it becomes all about what he wants. Who cares that Dani isn't ready to hear the truth. Todd is about to lay claim to yet another kid.
I'm supposed to root for Todd and Tea in this?
Nope.

I'm rooting for Ross. And I'm rooting for Dani.”

-“I'm with you on this one. Given the choice of fathers and a mother who has done practically nothing but lie to that child from the moment Dani was introduced, I would rather see Dani with Ross eventually, after he has had some help with anger issues. But people seem to forget that Todd hit Tea once. He cracked her across the face and knocked her unconscious and as I recall the circumstances were similar, with Tea screaming in his face.”

-“As for Tea. In my opinion she handled things in the worst way possible with her deception. Also, she has certainly shown that she could live without her daughter for the time she had her locked up in boarding school, an ocean away, without explanation. She may well have scarred that child for life! Some mother!”

-“You make good points about Ross and his behavior. This may be a case where the actor is bringing a great deal of depth to a role that the writers never expected or wanted. Because when I look at Ross, I see a man who has been manipulated from before he came to Llanview, had his child stolen from him, and during the last argument with Tea, he was physically abused. Yes, HE was physically abused."

-“I wanted to smack Tea silly today. It didn't take Tea long to twist the knife in Ross' heart. She is bragging that Dani is with her real father. I don't believe for a minute that Tea sincerely believed that Ross was Dani's father. The Tea I know and hate would never give up a chance to find out if Todd was the father. She can cry all she wants, but the way she is treating Ross now proves that she is not going to be reasonable with visitation etc. Tea the barracuda will really allow Ross visitation? Does she really believe that once she tells Todd that Dani is his daughter he will allow Ross anywhere near her? What a heartless witch. My heart was breaking for Ross today.”

-“You know, I like Tea - well, I liked Tea up until today. Ross is abusive? How about Tea made every wrong choice in the book and that drove Ross over the edge. I'm not saying Tea deserves to be beat up or raped. No one brings that upon themselves. But her actions fed a fire that could have been tamped out.”

-“What we get is "Tea as victim" and Todd will come to her rescue. GMAFB.”

-“So they'll destroy the father Dani knows and then she can find out he bio dad is a gang rapist who has physically abused her mother. She should definitely become emancipated and never speak to any of them again”.

-“Todd is a sperm doner where as Ross is the one who has raised her for 15 years of her life.”

-“Watching the Todd/Tea mess today it occurred to me how excellent Michael Lowry's performance has been, and how there was natural tension in the big scenes these last couple days, even amidst the UCG with Tea gagging and making those hilarious noises and faces. The biggest problem with all this is Todd's character, and the treatment of Tea vs. Blair and Ross (and Ross vs. Todd).”

-:As to the Todd/Tea/Ross mess, thank you Lord for the fast forward button. Even Danielle, who's only been around a couple of weeks, grates my nerves. Must be because of who her parents are”.

-“Not as funny as Rachel's claim that Todd wasn't a threat. "You gotta be shittin' me!" Todd is the same sociopath who not only physically attacked Rachel herself, he terrorized her mother Nora while she was blind, punched her best friend in the face, traumatized his other bio daughter and tried to steal his own grandchild-and that's just a few of Todd's crimes.”

-“I dont care, I dont care... The only person that I like in this story is Ross. Tea, Todd and Danny can sail back off to the time wrap island never to heard from again. The freaking mentioned the whole Jack thing again with Danny standing in the room. Its all so stupid!!!”

-“TnT really know how to make a workday go longer. This Todd propping is really fucked up and quite hilarious. Todd's the only man who can save Tea from herself? Hilarious! That was the funniest line today.”

-“I don't know what annoys me more, the way Ross was thrown under the bus or the fact I still sympathize with his character despite seeing his brutal struggle with Tea. A man physically assaulting a woman is not something I think should be played ambiguously. I'm really hating on that bitch and her "all the marbles" attitude to her child. Who else thinks it's ok to pull that kind of shit and consider it good parenting? Oh that's right, TODD!!!! And by the way, jackass, the man who raised that girl for 15 years certainly is her "Dad" , at this point you are nothing more than a sperm-donor.”

-“Tea being choked didn't touch me one bit.All I kept thinking was poor Ross.Something is wrong with that.”

-“Yeah, being Rossed is basically getting the fast track to villainy. Ross got transformed over night despite all interactions being the opposite of what our "heroine" was saying and then they decided 'rut-roh... we can't make a liar out of Tea!'”

-“If viewers hate it, then I don't see how it gets the job done. The entire point of this story is to push Todd/Tea and their spawn as the ideal family. If a lot of people spend more time slackjawed at blatantly plot-driven, schizo writing and being disgusted at just what a lunatic the show's beloved Tea is, then it takes away from any of the supposed rooting value in this mess.”

Sweepless in November

2009-11-27T06:13:00.004-05:00

Another November Sweeps that should have been swept under the rug. Head Writer, Ron Carlivati, promised the viewers thrills, chills and world travel, and all they got were a bag of nuts and a coke. He took them from London, to Seattle, to Detroit, to Napa and back to Dear old Llanview. I have to give it to Carlivati, his bags of nuts, though stale, were filled with variety.

The two lead stories were the return of Mitch Laurence and Todd’s revelation that he had a daughter with Tea. Included among the mixed nuts were Dorian’s symbolic marriage to a woman, Kyle and Oliver’s reunion, Rex finding out who his father really is, Jared being killed and Matthew getting his operation.

Let’s start with Mitch’s return from the dead “yet again’! I saw his face, and I heard his voice, and I was as enthralled as I was the first time Mitch appeared. This man is the ultimate “evil”, and just having him on the canvas gives Ron Carlivati to just have a free for all. There is nothing that Mitch will not do. Nothing is sacrosanct, to him accept loyalty. During Mitch’s previous tenure in town, his reign of terror was ended when his daughter, Jessica, killed him, and to make sure he was really, really dead her uncle, Todd poured poison down his throat and cremated him. So, here Mitch is, very much alive and well, physically any way, and once again he is terrorizing two of his last victims, his daughter Jessica and her twin sister, Natalie, who also happens to be Mitch’s ex-wife. Mitch orchestrated a very eerie reunion in Napa Valley at Jessica’s dead husband’s vineyard; chief among the guest was Jessica’s dead husband, Nash. Yes, Mitchell Laurence is THAT evil. Also present were Jessica, Natalie and Natalie’s husband Jared, who was being framed by Mitch. Super cop John Mc Bain and his new side-kick, Brody (who happens to be the lover of Jessica) arrived just in the nick of time, but that did not stop Mitch from shooting Jared, who later died of his injuries.

Jared’s death involved several key players since he is married to Natalie, whose mother is non-other than Victoria Lord Riley Buchanan Carpenter Davis Banks, who happens to be married to Jared’s father, Charlie Banks.

Todd and Tea Have an Insta-Kid.
In May, Tea whispered to Blair that she had a “BIG secret”, one she had never told to another living sole, and ever since then viewers have been speculating about what the “BIG secret” was. Immediately, they came up with a secret child, and voila, Todd and Tea have a child that she has kept a secret from him and everybody else for some seven or fifteen years. Tea’s seven lost years were played up from the time she first came to Llanview a year ago. Those seven years were played up when Blair had Rex investigate Tea’s lost years. Rex came up empty the first time he looked, revealing that it was as if Tea had disappeared during that seven year time period after she left the island with Ross, the man Todd hired to kidnap his two children, Starr and Jack. SEVEN years were suddenly turned into fifteen years when it was finally revealed that Todd and Tea had a fourteen year old daughter with Todd. Yes, a fourteen year old daughter who was conceived seven years ago. She is actually older than her half-brother, Jack who was to be kidnapped, thus leading to Todd, Tea and Ross being stranded on an Island, Somewhere in the South Pacific. This “BIG” secret became more convoluted every day, as the writing continued to change when plausibility did not fit Tea’s motive for hiding her child away from the father who raised her for fourteen years, and the father who is oblivious to the fact that he has a fourteen year old daughter. Here is where all plausibility breaks down. Tea left her husband of fifteen years to defend her ex-husband who had been charged once again for raping a woman whom he had raped when they were in college. So, Ron had/has the awesome task of showing the viewers that Ross is the most violent man on the planet, next to Mitch Laurence. [Wow! How to do that?] Well, let’s start by having Ross threaten to rape Blair and have Todd, the rapist rescue her. [Not enough?] Then let’s have Ross choke the shit out of Tea when she tells him that “their” daughter is not “their” daughter, but she is “her” daughter with Todd and let Todd, the man who tried on several occasions to kill a woman who was pregnant with his child rescue her. [Still not convinced?] Well, you will just have to wait to see what magic tricks Ron has up his sleeve concerning Ross Rayburn and his evil ways.

Todd comes face to face with his bratty, obnoxious daughter. He has a few choice words for her brattyness and she has a few choice words for his arrogance, such as “jerk” and “pervert”. Through continued questioning, Todd discovered that Tea has a daughter and when the wheels finally get into gear, he figures out that she is also his daughter. Later, questioning Tea, he says, “She is mine, right?” and after the drama of having rescued Tea from near death, seeing his daughter rush into the arms of her father, Ross Rayburn and upon being arrested, Tea sticks the DNA test results into Todd’s pocket and says, “Congratulations! It’s a girl!” [personal note: I would have given anything to have seen those scenes played out by Roger Howarth.]

Matthew Gets His Operation
After months of fighting his parents, Matthew got his operation, but not without a few detours, one of which took him to a private school in London where he met Danielle Rayburn, the fourteen year old daughter of Tea and Todd. Matthew’s parents tricked him into thinking that they had accepted his decision to have the sensitive spinal cord operation, telling him that they were taking him to Seattle Washington. Instead, he was dropped off at the Warrick School in London. Matthew instantly bonded with Todd and Tea’s Insta-Kid and they plotted and made their getta-way with the help of Matthew’s devoted friend, Destiny. When Matthew and Danielle arrived at the hospital, the surgeon said he had some free time on his hands, and he set up the procedure. The doctor was unable to complete the procedure due to complications, so Dr. Evans was flown in. He completed the surgery, which was a success. Matthew felt sensation in his legs and moved his toes on Thanksgiving Day.

I’m not sure of the success of this November Sweeps. Those things are usually measured in numbers, how many viewers watched, what percentage of what demographic tuned in. As a long time viewer, I have mixed feelings. I can so easily accept the return of Mitch Laurence, who is pure “evil” , from the dead than I can accept the convoluted, daily spin of why Tea kept her child a deep dark secret and the bizarre out of birth order, sorasing of the TNT Kid. Ron Carlivati believes that he can tell the audience anything that he wants to tell them and they will accept it. Ron is right and after a few months, faithful viewers won’t remember that Danielle should be younger than her brother, Jack and new viewers won’t care at all. For me, I condemn Ron’s constant re-writes and his distortions of characters and history in order to foist Todd and Tea’s story on the viewers, but I give Ron credit for the way in which he is able to bring so many characters together on one canvas.

The Trevorizination of Todd Manning

2009-10-18T09:02:00.003-04:00

I am not quite sure whether I want to give Trevor St. John credit for his dismantling of one of daytimes most iconoclastic anti-heroes or whether I want to have him drawn and quartered along with his accomplice in this crime, Ron Carlivati.

When I first saw Todd Manning, I was repulsed by him. I hated his arrogance, his cockiness and most of all I hated his cruelty. I wanted so much for that son of a bitch to pay for raping Marty Saybrooke. The scenes were just that visual; he wore his contempt for her in that sneer and in his voice. When he had finished with her, he told the other’s that it was their turn at bat. I despised him. I wanted nothing more than for him to get his. Finally, he did go to jail, but that was not the last we would see of Todd Manning.

Viewers were invited in for a closer look at this vile young man and what we began to see was the inner-workings of a sociopath, who somewhere in his dark heart had yearnings to be loved. Todd was described as a sort of Frankenstein’s Monster. He was rejected by family, cast out by society, but secretly he wanted to be a part of that which rejected him. His existence has always been a two edged sword. There has always been the great longing for acceptance by those who rejected him, and the desire to spit in their faces. What made Todd likable was his vulnerability which he hid under his gruff exterior. This was usually revealed through his relationship with children, in the beginning with CJ, Sarah and Jessica. They always looked beyond his scarred personality. His own daughter saw his physical scar as something that made her father special.

What Trevor and Ron Carlivati have done is take away Todd’s specialness; he is no longer unique. They have successfully de-Manninged Todd Manning. They have taken a once complex character, a character filled with history and nuance and turned him into an atypical soap opera-ish male. He’s not a hero; he’s not an anti-hero. I am not quite sure where Todd fits in anymore. St. John’s acting has channeled the techniques of Vivian Leigh and Anthony Perkins, both brilliant actors in their own right; however, neither of them would be right for the role of Todd Manning.

TrevRon wanted more utility out of the Todd character, and they both got it. Todd Manning is now the damsel in distress. He is the heroine of One Life To Live. He is sought after as a love interests by at least two women; he is being lied to by one, and tricked by another. It’s only a matter of time before John Mc Bain has to save his ass once more.

TNT – A Tragedy

2009-09-20T23:15:00.004-04:00

Ron Carlivati has written himself a good old fashion TRAGEDY! Yep! TNT is a TRAGEDY! The only problem here is that there is no hero or heroine. In Ron's world Tea will be the heroine, but only in his world could this be possible. Tea's dishonesty, her inability to tell her husband to be the truth, will bring about her downfall. Though Todd is not heroic, for once in his life, he is trying to do the right thing. He is blindly going into a marriage to a woman who is keeping him in the dark. Todd is usually the deceiver, but this time, the table has been turned. This story is filled with tragic irony, as Todd has once again placed Tea on a pedestal because of her "honesty" and her "pure" love for him.

The first time these two got together, their union was doomed by lies and dishonesty. They married to dupe the court into believing that Todd, a convicted felon, would provide a stable home for his daughter, Starr, as opposed to Starr's mother who had slipped into a coma. Even after Blair regained consciousness and her health, Tea and Todd maintained custody of Starr and eventually, limited the amount of time that Blair could have with her own daughter. That marriage was a business deal. Tea received 5 million dollars for her effort.

Then there was the second marriage, the infamous "Glass Coffin Wedding". Then the lies were perpetrated by Todd, the town pariah, and their wedding night ended with the reveal of Todd’s secret. He had been feigning DID and his confession was recorded on his daughter’s tape player. Starr wanted to play the tape for her daddy, and she got the DJ to place it into the sound system at the country club. When the tape was played, it interrupted the wedding night nuptials when Tea heard Todd’s gloating confession that he was faking a mental illness. A huge argument between Tea and Todd ensued, leaving the cabana a blazing inferno when Todd left, slamming the door, and knocking over a candle.

Tea almost lost her life. What will the outcome be this time? It appears that the fickled finger of fate is about to ram them both in their arses. Tea has a secret and Blair is intent on revealing it. Will Blair be the fuse that ignites TNT?

TNT Is Not Now, Nor Has It Ever Been a Love Story! In Other Words...

2009-08-24T19:54:00.009-04:00

Ron Calivati Is a Dirty, No Good Rotten Liar!

Ron Calivati, the head writer for One Life To Live, has done everything that he could to destroy what Brian Frons once called One Life To Live’s “Franchise Couple”.

I was there when Todd fell in love with Blair. I was there when he said the words to her. I was there when he left her at the airport and vowed to return to her as soon as he helped Marty. I was there, watching when Todd was shot in the back four times, dropped to his knees, and called out, “Blair!” “Blair!” I was there when Todd returned to Llanview from the dead, with two people on his mind, Blair and their daughter. I was there when Todd when Todd woke up the next morning, after making love to Tea on that island, looking at a picture of Blair and their two children. I was there when he took off on a raft to get to Blair. Once Todd returned to Llanview, he did everything that he could to get Blair back. He didn’t even remember to send help for Tea. His sister called the authorities when she found out about Tea’s fate.

I remember that Todd was almost killed by Mitch Lawrence and his henchman, he was beaten so badly that he returned to Llanview to with a new face. He immediately pursued Blair. He pretended to be Walker Lawrence, the brother of Mitch. He won Blair over. Years later when Todd was held captive, by crazy Margaret, he had sex with her, despite his despising everything about her, so that Blair might live. When Todd was being executed, he did not think about Tea, he thought about Blair and their children.

Ron Calivati, has deliberately set out to destroy Todd and Blair in order to write his Todd and Tea love story. That love story cannot exist without the annihilation of the super pairing of Todd and Blair, which ultimately means that Blair is totally destroyed in the process. Blair is suddenly the villainess standing between pure, true love and happiness of Todd and Tea. The most distasteful thing about this reconstructed history is that Ron Calivati allowed Todd’s epiphany about his true love to come from the woman he raped twice, Marty Saybrooke.

UN-Phucking Believable! Ron has the woman who hates Blair reaffirm that Blair is not worthy of Todd's love, but Tea is.

He has alienated Blair fans and what remains of Todd and Blair fans just so he can tell his revised version of TNT.

The Blair Bitch Project Begins

2009-08-10T03:54:00.004-04:00

The week of August 10th Blair begins her quest to discover Tea’s BIG secret.

This BIG secret has been built up since May when Blair and Tea were locked in a gas filled boiler room together. As the gas overtook the two women, Tea told Blair that she had something to tell her, something that she had never told another living soul. She also told Blair that maybe she could use the information. Blair passed out before Tea could reveal the BIG secret, so the BIG secret is still Tea’s to keep, but is it?

There has been major speculation about just what the secret is and most of the speculation results in one conclusion; that Tea got pregnant when she and Todd had sex on the island. There is speculation that Tea gave the baby up for adoption; there is another theory that she believes the baby died at birth (but it did not); there is also speculation that the child is a girl and she is in a boarding school. Here is my question. How in the hell is this information going to be useful to Blair? This smacks of more Tea propping by Blair.

So, Blair discovers that Tea has a child by Todd. What will she do with the information that will be advantageous to her? Will she tell Todd that his precious Tea kept his child away from him? We know how Todd is about his children; they are his possessions. He will probably be steamed for a minute; then he will go looking for what is his and claim ownership over it. I guess Blair will have some momentary fulfillment from that. It might be interesting to see Todd snatch Tea’s child away from her as she has helped him snatch Blair’s children from her, with no regard to Blair’s feelings.

My problem with the BIG secret being a child is that it is so predictable. Secret children are a dime a dozen, but then again, there is nothing soapier that a secret kid, so that will most likely be the BIG reveal of the Tea’s BIG secret.

It’s just a pity that Ron Calivati will use Blair to move Tea’s story, yet again. If Blair is going to go after the BIG secret, I want her to make an all out assault on Tea. I want Tea to feel Blair’s hot breath on her neck. I want Blair to make Tea’s life miserable.

In the meantime, I will take pleasure in knowing that Blair Bitch is working on a project that could bring Tea’s self-righteous ass down.

Why Blair Should Hate Tea Del Got to Be a Ho’s Guts

2009-07-29T11:39:00.003-04:00

First of all, women belong to a sisterhood; some never join it, but still they belong to it. That sisterhood tells us that you don’t set your sights on a man when his wife is in the hospital. You don’t move in on the hospitalized wife’s child, and you don’t plot with the husband to keep the child away from her mother. Tea did all of those things. She took advantage of Blair’s illness (physical and emotional); she married Todd so that he could gain sole custody of Starr. I understand Todd’s motives, but I could never understand the motives of a woman who could so easily cut and paste herself into the place of another.

Once Blair was out of the hospital, not only did Tea fight to keep Blair from gaining custody of Starr, she rubbed it in Blair’s face that she was the one who Starr called “Mommy”, and that she was the one who read her bedtime stories and put her to bed at night. Tea then plotted to not only have Todd have full custody of Starr, she saw to it that Blair got only supervised visitations. (That is pretty amazing, considering that Todd was a known rapist, kidnapper and murderer.)

Over a Decade Later:

Tea is still the selfish, manipulative thug-lawyer that she has always been. She takes Blair’s case (for selfish reasons), when Blair’s Aunt Dorian was desperate to keep Todd from getting custody of the children while Blair was recuperating from stab wounds and barely out of a coma. What does the thug suggest that Blair do? She suggests that she marry John Mc Bain (an illegal maneuver that cost Blair custody of her children and further alienated Blair from Todd). [Who do you think that benefitted?] Oh yeah! One more pesky little detail about Tea Del Got To Be a Ho. Tea then began sleeping with Todd on a regular basis. That should not be a problem because they are both single; however, Tea was banging the plaintiff in the child custody case on the defense table and everywhere else. Consequently she lost that case, which is pretty amazing because Tea NEVER loses any case. She just managed to lose Blair’s case.

And now, that Cheshire cat is up in Blair’s face, rubbing it in about how good the sex is with Todd.

So I ask, "Why in the hell should Blair not hate that bitch?

Blair Don’t Need No Stinkin’ “Hero”!

2009-07-23T12:02:00.002-04:00

Blair believes that if she can just get a “hero” to love her then she will be made whole. If that ever happens, you can kiss Blair goodbye. Blair works because she is broken. Her brokenness adds complexity to the character and sets her apart from every other soap heroine, whom I despise, primarily because they quite frankly bore the hell out of me.

The majority of Blair fans do not tune in to see a damsel in distress. They watch her and have watched Blair for years because Blair takes care of business herself. It may not always be pretty, but it is what it is, without pretense, and without confetti or balloons. The last time that Blair was paired with a “hero”, she was morphed into Suzy Homemaker. The only thing that remained true of the character was her immense sexual appetite. That was kept intact because it is a soap opera, and that never changes about this character because the writers continue to pimp her out whenever they hook her up.

This is what Blair needs. Blair needs INDEPENDENCE! (That does not mean that Blair should not have a man in her life); however, it does mean that Blair should have a viable career. She should have her own home. There is no reason why Blair does not have her own place. She has a fortune; at least she should have a fortune, but every team of writers comes in and snatches it away from her. Every newbie who comes to Llanview has his or her own home, but Blair and her children live with her Aunt Dorian. Those are the things that concern this fan, not the delusion that Blair needs a “hero”.

Archie on Viagra

2009-07-22T11:08:00.015-04:00

The small town of Llanview is now Officially "Riverdale High School".
Archibald "Archie" Andrews is now being played by Todd Manning. Elizabeth "Betty" Cooper is being played by Blair Cramer and Veronica "Ronnie/Ron" Lodge is being played by Tea Del Gatto.

Todd Manning is caught between two women, each claiming that he is the love of her life, and since Todd is a horny boy, he is having sex with both of them. Yeah! I know, it’s all very soap operish, but not very compelling and not very Todd, not a'tall.

Anyway, Tune in Tomorrow to see who Todd will be doing next.

John and Blair Ended At Last Year's Daytime Emmmys

2009-07-21T23:41:00.008-04:00

John and Blair Are Over? So, When Did They Start?
The writers began toying with John and Blair during the Spencer Truman Saga. Blair was sure that Spencer had set Todd up for murder and she and John decided to get the goods on Truman. John had a vendetta against Spencer Truman because he suspected him of killing his father. He needed Blair to get the evidence, which left her vulnerable, but (it was Blair, so who cared?)

This was the beginning of a very lop-sided friendship. When Todd was missing in Chicago, Blair called John for help. He came. When Starr ran away with Cole, Blair called John; he came. Todd became a raging maniac and Blair turned to John. He came. Unfortunately, John had his mind elsewhere. His mind on Marty Saybrooke who was presumed dead. John dreamed about her; he obsessed about her, and finally when he discovered that she was living with Todd Manning, the man who once lead a gang rape on her, John abandoned Blair by degrees.

Some John and Blair fans are crying foul because of the breakup of their couple, but it is evident that Ron Calivati, the head writer of One Life To Live, never had any intention of ever making John and Blair a viable couple. There was potential for a decent story, maybe in the form or a triangle or even a quadrangle with Todd and Marty causing angst for them. Todd alone could have created enough angst for two lifetimes and if that were not enough, the writers could have had John interact with Blair’s family, but that never happened because he was always written as Blair’s little something on the side until she became wistfully hopeful that John would be her hero. He wasn't.

The Changing Face(s) of One Life To Live

2009-07-03T11:25:00.003-04:00

One Life To Live has made its mark on the soap opera world by doing controversial and edgy stories; however, One Life did not lead in the charge when it came to telling the story of homosexual lovers. Well, maybe I’m not speaking the truth here because One Life To Live has dealt with homophobia as well as its very devastating effects

The last homosexual coupling involved an older, established man, who happened to be the D.A. He hid his homosexuality by becoming involved with women. He was married, divorced and a father when he became involved with one of Llanview’s most prominent citizens, Nora Gannon, whom he married. Daniel Colson became obsessed with keeping his secret covered, darkly covered by lies, manipulations and even murder. The viewers rarely saw Daniel as he interacted with his young lover. Their encounters were brief and usually tinged with jealousy and disappointment because of Daniel’s cowardice to come out into the open.

This time One Life To Live intends to get it right. They have established chemistry between the two parties involved, Kyle Lewis and Oliver Fish. The first time the two bumped into one another, questions were asked about their connection. They were both frat brothers in KAD. It was revealed that they had a past, one that Oliver seemed to want to forget. All the while we see Kyle practically being poked in his eyes by Natalie’s Big Top Candy Mountains and Kyle is not phased in the least, then Gigi tries to work her magic by stripping for him, and all she got was the door. Poor Fish is so desperate to be involved with a woman that he sought one out over the internet. He found Layla who is also desperate to find, “Mr. Right”. The original meeting between Fish and Layla was awkward, and Layla seemed to lose interest, but Fish accidentally discovered Stacy (a psycho-bitch) who would do anybody and she did Fish all over her sister’s house. Fish was starting to feel pretty confident about his faux-heterosexuality at this point. He is now determined to give Layla another try, but neither of them have their hearts into it. Layla seems to be pining for her comatosed sister’s boyfriend, while Fish is just all kinds of goofy, trying to make things work between them. Meanwhile, Kyle watches Oliver from afar, wistful and jealous that he has moved on.

Where will the writers go from here? Something tells me that things will not bode well for the two because, well, things just don’t bode well for couples on this show.

Methinks That Brody is in WAY Over His Head!

2009-05-23T12:25:00.003-04:00

First of all I have to say that I love this character, and guess what? He’s a “Good Guy”; an honest to goodness, home-grown “Good-guy”. I usually go for the soap bad-boys. I loved that bastard, Roger Thorpe for years. I loved Todd Manning as well, and I was never an apologists for him as some fans are prone to be. Both of them possess a component which at times un-nerved me, rattled me and fascinated me. It is unusual for me to like the good guy, but not un-heard of because they provide a healthy balance to the canvas.

Okay! Enough of the bull-shit!

I love me some Brady Lovett, mainly because he is so gorgeous! I have been enthralled with him since the first time that I laid eyes on him when he was in that seedy bar, kicking everybody’s ass. Brody was a drunken ex-Navy Seal, working out some anger issues.

(DING! DING! EPIPHANY!)

That’s why I like this man! Brody was introduced as a bad boy who turns out to be a good guy, but he is a good guy with an edge. Brody is sharp; he has a keen animal sense for survival. He sees the truth and he speaks it. He is loyal to a fault. He was willing to perpetrate a “good” lie for the sake of a friend when she needed a father for her son. Months after losing the woman he was in love with and the son he adored, Brody is still willing to do anything for them.

Jump ahead several months and we have Brody in love once again with non-other than Jessica Buchanan (the daughter of Viki/Niki/Tommy/Princess/Tori/Jean Lord, Reily, Buchanan, Carpenter, Davis) and Mitchell Laurence [a text book socio-path]. Whew! That was a mouthful, and it pretty much says it all. Jessica is a chip off of the old blocks, or should I say, “many chips”. As far as we know, Jessica only has two alters, Tess and Bess. Brody has met Tess and boy is she a hot mess. He is about to be introduced to the rest of the clan, and I’m not quite sure how he is going to handle them.

Blair Is Propping Tea, Yet Again

2009-05-21T23:13:00.003-04:00

And I have the proof to back it up! Tea is going to get a big story while Blair gets the shaft. Tea has a BIG secret, that she was dying to tell, but passed out before she could get it out. I had to watch her gag, cough and whine about how much she LOVES Todd while she taunted Blair into admitting that Todd is in deed the love of her life.

This secret will pretty much amount to nothing because that is the way of the world, in Llanview, anyway. Secrets are played out for months and even years until the viewers just don’t give a damn. In fact, it is my theory that the writers come up with the word secret before they themselves even know what the secret is. Look at the Buchanan heir secret, to tell David Vickers or not to tell him that he is a Buchanan? What ever came of that? Who is Rex’s daddy? Who cares? I know I don’t.

So, now, Tea has a BIG secret and that secret will grow larger and larger. It will warp characters and it will destroy history. Tea’s secret will become a misshapen blob that that eats the city of Llanview, the first victim, Blair Cramer.

The KAD Murder Mystery Fizzles to a Close

2009-05-16T11:48:00.004-04:00

Almost fifteen years ago, Michael Malone and Josh Griffith told a story of a fraternity party gone horribly awry. The story was taken from headlines, reporting the alcohol and sexual abuse that ran rampant on many college campuses.

It was a cautionary tale, warning the viewers of the deadly combination of alcohol and revenge. The story had meaning. The actors were brilliant. One character (Todd Manning) sprung from that story as an iconic figure. Originally the role of Todd Manning had been so insignificant that Roger Howarth was cast to play Frat Boy #4. The actor brought such depth to the role that the rapist was woven into the fabric of the show’s history when he was made the son of Victor Lord and the younger brother of Victoria Lord Reilly Buchanan.

Todd Manning, carries with him a degree of inherent evil mixed with a tinge of humanity. Apparently the evil was passed through his bloodline and it was exacerbated by his selfish and abusive adoptive father. Over the years, the writers have kept Todd viable as a lead character by giving him a wife and children and a second wife who helped him to secure custody of his children, first his daughter, and then all three of his children. The rapist has become a romantic leading man, although his idea of romance is just a bit skewed, the women are enthralled by him. He possesses his women, body and soul by getting into their heads. He knows what makes them tick and he knows just what strings to pull. When things don’t go his way, he punishes them.

Recently the head writer has decided to revisit the “Rape” story by having Todd romance the woman he led a brutal gang rape on. This story was hyped by the writer, Ron Carlivati and turned into what some viewers and critics came to call, “a rapemance”. Having screwed up royally, the writer has since spun himself and the viewers dizzy with a story of revenge, which is intended to end the rape and redeem the rapist once and for all.

How to do that? Create a murder mystery that culminates in the humiliation of Todd and the women who love him. If this story had been given some thought before it was executed, maybe it would have some validity, but the KAD revenge story has turned out to be a sorry joke. It has been pieced together like Frankenstein's monster and it is now eating up the the show.

The absurdity of the plot is not even worth rehashing, but I have to ask the question: How many times are the writers going to strap Todd Manning to a bed or to a table (his execution) rendering him helpless? Anyone who has followed this show for any period of time knows that these ritualistic castrations of the former rapist are only good for a few days.

The travesty of this fiasco is that Ron wasted the returns of Zach, Powell and Rebecca on this swill. They could have been true nemesises of Todd Manning for years to come.